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Pat Wolfe

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Candidate Journals

King Tiger Tae Kwon Do Black Belt candidates blog daily about their journey: their thoughts and feelings, their struggles and successes; their pain and their encouragement. Follow along on their journey; words of encouragement are always welcome!

The End is not the end but the beginning

Wow. What an amazing 11 week journey. Actually my journey started September 1, 2009 but the most recent leg of that journey came in the form of this Black Belt cycle. Sure you can put a cost on the opportunity to participate in the King Tiger Black Belt cycle. There were some fees involved however that in no way is a reflection of the true cost or value of what we just went through or experienced. It is not possible to put a price on the confidence that I gained, the camaraderie that the nine people of different ages, races, genders and life experiences developed nor the physical improvements that we made. We lost weight, some gained weight/muscle, we got healthier physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually in some cases. We realized there is NOTHING we are not capable of doing if we just commit to it and have the love...

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Saturday w...

Saturday was tough. I have what I believe to be a cold. It has really slowed me down. It was a nasty rainy day and since I am sick I did not go run. I was only able to do a few things outside of our Black Belt class. I felt so exhausted. It is difficult to rest knowing that I have things I need to do. Today is really cold and windy so I don't think running is in my best interest but that puts me further behind. I am going to try to do some poomsaes and self defense and maybe try to finish out my push-ups and sit-ups. I am struggling to find the balance of not doing anything but resting and doing my requirements. I know I need to focus on getting better for our test this coming Friday night. Maybe if I do a little and...

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Well, one ...

Well, one week from today we test. I have just a few things left to do today. I am trying my best to not "be sick". I had a sore throat all day yesterday with yellow stuff in my nose/sinus. It could be allergies and sore throat from drainage. This morning it is more sore. I am going to drink a lot of immunity tea at work today. Yesterday and Wednesday were crazy busy at work so I have to make an effort to get my fluids in. This is my last required journal entry, what an amazing 10 weeks.

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Tuesday

Well, a good cold morning to you, Journal. I just returned from my 1.6 mile run in 28 degrees dark morning. It was a brisk clear morning with a moon that looks like the Cheshire Cat flashing a crooked toothy grin at you. I realized this morning that I was the only human out this morning at this hour and that I have become one of those people that I used to wonder about. You know the ones that are running in double layers of clothes in 28 degrees. Funny, isn't it. Finished up my kicks last night and one by one things are being crossed off the list. I remember from my 1st Dan cycle and test, waking up in the middle of the night from dreams where I forgot how to do certain things during testing. I am trying to avoid having those dreams by thinking positive thoughts and...

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Tuesday

Last night I met with my mentor, Amy Tucker, one last time. She has been an amazing mentor. I also met with my mentee, Russ. I expect to meet with him tonight as well. He has been out of class a lot so we are behind on our sessions. I thought I was going to have to start over with different mentee, however, he thinks he can meet this week and next to try to get this finished. He has been out of town with work a lot and sick some. I hope he is there tonight, he said he would be. He is a nice guy. Instructor Hsin had us do squat jump burpees last night. Those were tough. Ran again this morning. Thankfully I was able to get my run in before the rain started. Now to tackle the rest of the day and more requirements.

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Monday

Good morning. Just returned from run. I ran the 1.6 miles in 25:10, due in part to the bunny that I saw and I stopped to talk to. I had a pretty good weekend. I am always thankful for the weekends but especially when I am on the cycle. It is when, if you are willing, you can do extra. I was thinking while I ran about what I "gave up" this weekend. I don't know that I can call them sacrifices or maybe I should. My best girlfriend asked me to go to the movie "God's Not Dead" with her and another friend but I told her that I was really hyper focused on doing some requirements and that I couldn't go. Sacrifice? I don't know. I went to church yesterday morning but did not go back last night to work with the Jr. Youth. Instead I stayed home and...

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Sunday

I am so glad that I got up and went for my run before church. I knew it might be raining so I made the effort to get up early to get it out of the way. I am really glad I did. I woke up late this morning. I wanted to get up at 6:00 but got up at 6:30. Therefore I did not have time to do burpees or something to warm up before my run. Had to hit it. Starting cold proves for a slower run. Still enjoyed it. This is the cotton candy sunrise that was my reward in addition to the other good reasons for running. Now I can work on the other requirements. Everything will need to be done inside since the cold rain has set in. :-(

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Sunday

I am so glad that I got up and went for my run before church. I knew it might be raining so I made the effort to get up early to get it out of the way. I am really glad I did. I woke up late this morning. I wanted to get up at 6:00 but got up at 6:30. Therefore I did not have time to do burpees or something to warm up before my run. Had to hit it. Starting cold proves for a slower run. Still enjoyed it. This is the cotton candy sunrise that was my reward in addition to the other good reasons for running. Now I can work on the other requirements. Everything will need to be done inside since the cold rain has set in. :-(

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Saturday

Only two weeks to go until our public performance test. Last night when I got home I took Hans for a 2 mile walk then I went back out for a 1.6 mile run. I really enjoyed both. Then I came home and did more poomsaes, self defense etc. I am really looking forward to today because it is supposed to be nice and I can do my requirements outside without worrying that my lunch hour is running out like I did yesterday.

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Thursday

Good morning. We are a short 2 weeks and one day from our overnight test. I would like to think I have a healthy dose of anticipation mixed with a little anxiety. One of my concerns is that I will blank because I get so tired. For example, this morning I woke up at 2:00 and stayed awake until about 3:10 before going back to sleep. When the alarm went off at 4:30 it was difficult to get up but I did get up at 4:45. I did some burpees and inclined pull-ups to warm up for my run, then I went for my run. During my run I was having a difficult time remembering something that I know I know. When I got home it came back to me. I can't say I enjoyed my run because I am so sleepy however I can say I am glad I did...

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Wet Wednesday

What does perseverance look like? This morning it looks a lot like me. I must confess that I did not want to get up at 4:30 and go run in the rain and do requirements. I, however, did. The same thing that usually happens on most runs happened this morning. I was glad that I had made the effort to get up and run. It is so peaceful at that hour and I was blessed that the rain/drizzle had stopped by the time I got out there. It dawned on me that I could be perhaps counting my running time as meditation time. I use it for a time of reflection and goal setting. This morning I was looking back over this BB cycle. I could not run the entire 1.5 miles in the beginning. Now I run the entire time. I have run in 22 degrees weather. I have run...

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Tuesday

Last night we went to the Levine children's Hospital to drop off our donations. I was overcome with emotion and as a result was quiet. I can't imagine having to spend anytime there with a child in the hospital. It is a wonderful place and does amazing things. They really know how to make those heartbreaking stays so much better.It is funny what I think about or use to motivate me during my runs. This morning it was 30 degrees and very damp but thankfully not raining. I did my 1.6 miles in 25:10. I was a lot slower today, I guess because I am just so tired. I did not rest much last night. However, when I got to the 1/2 way point in my run, I imagined that I had just touched the red cone in front of the golf course sign and I was headed back to the...

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Monday

Good morning. Just got back from my run. I was blessed because it wasn't raining when I went. It was a damp 37 degrees and the winds were intense. I did not see any animals this morning or any people either. Today we (the Black Belt candidates) go to the Levine Children's hospital to take our items we collected. I am looking forward to going. I have some friends from church that had a daughter in there recently. It was my first experience with going to Levine, however I was familiar with it prior to visiting Abbie. It is an amazing place. Well, got to get going on more requirements.

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Sunday Run

Good morning!! Today is the day after our physical and written test. I am still smiling so hard that my mouth hurts. Which is ironic because I recently told someone that I think that was the only part on me that wasn't hurting due to the Black Belt cycle. Now I can say that anymore. :-)I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I did the 1.5 mile, that took me 25:12 on January 18th, in 21:32 minutes. No need to check your eyes or clean your monitor. That is accurate. I had to ask Instructor Lloyd to repeat my time because I thought I heard wrong. Plus I improved on the number of sit-ups, push-ups, burpees, and V-sit-ups that I did. I did not get a pull-up yesterday but it will happen someday. Oh, I also made a 100 on the written test. Quite a red letter day for me yesterday.I...

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Physical and Written Test

Today we do the physical and written test. I am a little anxious just because of the health concerns from earlier this week. I feel pretty confident about my abilities but I am afraid of over doing it and having the same problem or making something worse. However, my doctor's Physician's Assistant, whom I saw earlier this week when it happened said it was ok to do the test today. So I will do it with confidence to the best of my ability.

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Wednesday

I don’t want to go into details but do to health issues my doctor has told me to not do extreme physical activity until after I have a CT scan on Friday. I am doing poomsaes and self-defense. I can’t and do not want to believe this is happening just days before my physical test. I have worked so hard to get my running faster and to exceed the rest of my goals with sit-ups, push-ups etc. I have many people praying that everything turns out good and one test did come back normal so that is great news. I am trying to not worry and keep a positive attitude but this is very frustrating. I have come too far and we are too close for this but on the other hand I have to pay attention to my health.

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Monday

Good morning. I got up and did my run this morning, after doing some push-ups, burpees, sit-ups and inclined pull-ups. I am looking forward to when I strike that sweet balance of being light enough and strong enough to get my body up there to do a real unassisted pull-up. I did my run in 23:15.04. I was a bit slower today, in part due to lack of sleep. Although I went to bed at a decent hour, I did not rest well. I noticed that I have become obsessed with getting my run done faster. I also noticed that I prefer running in the morning before the exhaust fumes get bad. Also I saw two bunny rabbits this morning on my first time around my loop. The second time around I did not expect to see them again but I saw one of them in the same yard. It was...

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Really Tough Day

Today was a really tough day. Today I did my empathy training and I bound my left arm in a sling. So the day was a challenge in that regard but then we had my Uncle Sonny's memorial service this afternoon. Only "having one arm" was so difficult. One good thing about doing the empathy challenge today was being able to share with my friends at church about why my arm was in a sling and therefore I was able to share more about King Tiger and the Black Belt cycle. After church I met my dad at Uncle Sonny & Aunt Jackie's house along with the rest of the family. While there my dad gave me some pictures of Uncle Sonny and their mom (my step-grandmother). I was not expecting to see a picture of my mom amongst the pictures. It immediately brought tears to my eyes. I don't know...

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Saturday

I think today was one of the best and most challenging days of this cycle. It started with my 1.5 mile run and I did it in 22:47.82 which just made my morning. I thought yesterday was a fluke but when I broke 23 minutes again today, I knew it wasn't a fluke and I wasn't dreaming. I went to Saturday Black Belt class and stayed for sparring. I always enjoy working with Master Randle and Pam Russ. After class I stopped and got some lunch and when I got home Hans and I went for a 2 mile walk (some jogging) in the awesome weather. After we got home I practiced both staff forms, single stick, bolo, attack & defend, staff attack & defend and some other poomsaes on my patio in the back yard. That was so peaceful and relaxing to be outside practicing. I would take breaks and...

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Wahoo! A new record for me

So, I bet you think that since it was pouring rain and cold this morning that I didn't run, well, you are wrong. I ran this evening when I got home. It was so different running in the daylight, with my contacts in and with traffic. I really enjoyed the change of scenery even though I ran the same route, just in the daylight. I am so excited that I ran my 1.5 mile loop, the same one that I have been running, (remember that up to now my best time was 23:50) tonight I ran it in 22:46.50 !!!! Well, I am going to go finish up with 45 more push-ups, some sit-ups, etc. I am so happy with my new running habit that whatever happens with the rest of the cycle & test, I have already won.

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Thursday

This morning I overslept by 20 minutes but I did get up and ran my 1.5 miles. I don't know what is going on. I think I am getting sick. Today I have felt really bad and wiped out. Plus I didn't get a full lunch hour so I did not get in as many requirements. We had a great class tonight and I got a lot of burpees in along with self-defenses. I always enjoy working with the Little Tigers. My mentee was still out sick. I hope to get to work with him next week.

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Wednesday

Good morning. Last night I worked with Kate and Master Chin with our Little Tigers class. We worked on some self defense moves. The little tigers don't understand how important those moves that we are teaching them may be to them someday. I pray they never get grabbed but hopefully they will remember what to do if they do get grabbed. We also worked on self defense in our Senior Wang Ho class. I am getting a little frustrated. Russ, my mentee, has been in class twice in 3 weeks. One week he was out of town, the next week he was sick. The one week he was in class on both Tuesday and Thursday he said he couldn't stay for mentoring after class on Thursday. I was hoping we could work together both days so I could catch up on my number of sessions. Last night he wasn't there someone...

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Terrific Tuesday

Well, I surprised even myself today. I got up at 4:45 (nothing unusual there) did 30 sit-ups and yes, went for my run. It was 22 degrees outside when I started. Yes, I said 22 degrees, that was not a typo. I had double layers, including my silk long johns, glove and 2 hats. The wind was bitter and cut like a knife, however, I did not quit. I had to even pass my house in the loop at the 3/4 of a mile mark and kept running. Oh, I also did my run in less time than yesterday!!! Then I came home did 30 more sit-ups and 10 inclined pull-ups with my "Perfect Pull-up bar". Fed the cat & dog and after this journal entry I need to get in shower.

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Monday after Instructor's camp

I went to instructor's camp and had a great time. It was a long weekend and full of hard work but so much fun. I got a call from my step-dad (who has been my step-dad since I was a senior in high school) that his brother, Sonny, has died unexpectedly yesterday around noon. I was/am devastated. Yesterday was a great day turn bad. I did not get much done as far as requirements go due to that news. However, I did get up at 4:30 and run in 57 degrees. I ran my 1.5 miles in 25 minutes. You may ask me if I am disappointed that it took me longer this time than it has in a while. I would tell you a firm NO. I am proud that I ran, especially after having missed several days due to instructors camp. I am also proud that I got up...

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Wednesday

Good morning!!! I can not believe what a morning it has already been and it is only 5:50 a.m. I got up at 4:30 (nothing new there) and hit the floor running, almost literally. A while back if you had told me that I would wake up at 4:30, do 10 burpees, 10 inclined pull-ups, 20 sit-ups before running, I repeat, RUNNING 1.5 miles, I would have wondered what kind of nut you were. But that is what I did this morning. The best thing of the morning was that I beat my best time. Up to now my best time for this loop has been 24:17 but I set a goal for less than 24 minutes. TODAY I DID MY RUN IN 23:50.88 !!!!!!!! On January 18th when we took the pretest at Master Evins school I could not run the 1.5 miles so I did a walk/run. As a...

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Gotta Love Dr. Bill

I had an appointment to see Dr. Bill at Advanced Health and Pain Relief this morning at 8:30. My left elbow is really bothering me, painful, not just discomfort. He manipulated my left elbow and wrist and checked my left knee & right shoulder. Ironically my knee cap and knee are doing quite well in spite of my running and everything. Nothing like my 1st Dan cycle. However, my left side has been hurting and I was afraid I had pneumonia again like last year before Instructor's camp. I also wondered if I might have a rib out again. Dr. Bill checked it out and said "Good call, you do have a rib out." He manipulated it and now it doesn't hurt to breath and move. I can't help but think my running and everything else will probably benefit from getting that back where it belongs since it affected my breathing...

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Tuesday

Last night was a great night in our South Charlotte Black Belt class. We worked on poomsae with Master Chin for 1st half then Instructor Hsin gave us a great challenging work out. I met with my most awesome Mentor Amy Tucker. We worked on Staff attack/defend. I needed to refresh myself on it and I always enjoy performing that with a person instead of just by myself. I hope to meet with my mentee, Russ Castilow, tonight. We are behind on meetings because he was out of town one week then out sick the next week. We will need to double up this week but that keeps me from being able to go to North Charlotte for BB class and PMAA because he and I work out after our Wang Ho class that runs to about 7:30. Ugh, I was really wanted to go to NC for more sticks. Well,...

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Monday

Good morning! This morning I did my 1.5 run and in spite of my calves feeling like they were on fire, I persevered and ran the whole time!! It took me about, I think 17 seconds longer but I still ran the whole thing. I am so proud of myself for that part of it that I can't get down about the time. I think part of the reason was I had a restless night last night and did not sleep well. I don't believe my body got properly rested. Plus last night at church we had pizza for dinner during Jr. Youth. I work with the Jr. Youth at St. Andrews UMC and I don't think the pizza set well with my tummy, too spicy & greasy. I love working with the Jr. Youth. They are like my children that I work with at South Charlotte, they are my "adopted...

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Sunday

This morning I got and went for my run before going to church. I realized today on the way home from church that my loop done twice is actually slightly further than 1.5 miles, almost 1.6 miles and this morning I ran it all again. I have been doing requirements since church and working on Hapkido 1-20. I also plan on working on Stick forms and staff forms.

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Saturday

Today was a great Black Belt class. We did a lot of kicking. I met with my mentor Amy Tucker before class on Stick form one and Bolo form. I was really glad that we got to go through them during class. I always leave Black Belt class feeling inspired & challenged. We have so many great people that encourage one another. Next week this time I will be at Instructor's camp. Wahoo!!

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Friday

This has been a tough day. It started out great. I got up at 4:40 and went for my run. I am so excited because I ran the entire 1.5 loop again today in essentially the same amount of time as yesterday. Which I think is acceptable since my calves were so sore. It was a breezy 63 degrees. Work has been really crazy today. We were shorthanded and really, really busy so I did not get to take a lunch so there went an opportunity to do some requirements and then I have been on the phone so much that I haven’t been able to drop at my desk for pushups and sit-ups. I will have to make some up later today and/or over the weekend. Last night I worked with Russ, my mentee. He was out of town one week then sick the next so we are behind on...

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Running

I got up at 4:30 this morning & went for my run in believe it or not, 54 degrees (cloudy). There are two surprises in that statement... one was the temperature and the other more significant one was the use of the word run and not the phrase run/walk. That's right BABY!! I ran (without any, not one, walk breaks) my entire 1.5 mile loop!!!! Today was not about speed, which I still slightly beat my time of Monday and Tuesday, however, I wanted to be able to do the whole distance running no matter what time I got. And I DID IT!!!!!! I was a little overdressed. Not complaining about temperature, just stating that I got hot with the long sleeves on. Now on to pushups and situps before shower. Have a great day!!!

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Thunder Storm

Wow. Last night was a crazy night. We had a big thunderstorm (as I suspect most of Charlotte did). It scared my 87 pound German Shepherd, Hans, and he kept me awake from 1:30 to 3:00 panting, pacing and jumping on the foot of the bed. I finally got to sleep around 3:00 then when the alarm went off at 4:00 it was still storming and I turned over and went back to sleep. That was not a great move. Even though I woke up later than I intended, I was still able to get in most of my planned requirements before, during and after work and church. I found that I really missed not getting my run in this morning. I realized it set the tone for the day which, I am ashamed to say was kind of negative or shall I say, disappointed. Well, I plan on getting up...

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Tuesday

Wow. I have done it again. Two days in a row. Today I got up at 4:30 and went for my MOSTLY run/little walk in the 32 degrees dark. Not only did I go... wait for it.... I beat yesterday's time!!!! My running distance increased significantly and focused breathing was better. Thank you to all my friends/mentors that ran with me. Master Rome Chin Beightol, Master Terrance Evins, Master Jason Honeycutt, Amy Giles Tucker, Master James Thamm, Pam Goley Russ, Master Robert Shin, Emily Monday Brinkley, Maria Sharpe Jordan, Alex Kendall, Kate Aberman and Joyce Mathers Sarvis. Your voices all were there encouraging today and yesterday. Reminding me that I could rest after I got home, that I could make that hill, to relax and enjoy the run and that I could do this. Thanks guys/gals. I hope you enjoyed your run with me :-)Also, I had several people over the...

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Monday

Good morning. I am very proud so of myself. I got up at 4:30 this morning to work on requirements, specifically running. I got new running shoes Saturday. I did not do many requirements yesterday. Yesterday afternoon I had two meetings, one of which was very disturbing and left me in a bad place emotionally. I am not saying it will be completely over in 5 months but it will be a lot better when I will not need to deal with this individual anymore. I wish I could say that I went for a run right after that but I had another meeting back at church and had to attend to that. That said, I did get up this morning and go for my 1.5 mile run/walk in 37 degree weather. I am very pleased with my run this morning. I am getting better at listening to my body and...

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Saturday

Whew. I went to Black Belt class today and stayed for sparring class. I really enjoyed working with Mrs. Jolly in both classes. Afterwards I came home and Hans and I went for a 2 mile walk/run in the neighborhood. Then I got cleaned up and went to get my new running shoes. I think my old worn out shoes were holding me back.

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Snow

Well, it has been a crazy couple of days. I went to see Dr. Bill on Tuesday just as the snow was starting. He worked on my left elbow and right rotator cuff. He told me to modify my push-ups and he adjusted my knee cap again. I am so thankful that Master Evins referred me to Dr. Bill during my 1st Black Belt cycle. Since I have been snow bound, I have been working on papers and requirements. I also shoveled the driveway. I was really thankful for horse back riding stance and my back stance when shoveling with the short shovel. It really helped save my back. My elbow and shoulder, on the other hand, were not too happy. But it had to be done.

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Monday

I got up at 4:30 this morning and went for a 1.5 mile walk/run. It was difficult to get motivated to go out in the dark and cold however, I did and I am glad I did. Today was the 1st day I have encountered people at that hour. I saw a woman and her very noisy Jack Russell dog and an older than me man walking. I came up behind him and passed him. As I was approaching and passing him I was going over all of my self-defense moves. You know, running what if scenarios. That helped me feel more prepared & confident. I am not a big fan of running in the dark and cold but that is what it is going to take to get this Black Belt. I may not have been the fastest but at least I was out there in 40 degrees weather.

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Saturday

Yesterday was a great day. I got up and did some requirements before going to Presbyterian Hospital to visit a 9 year old friend of mine, Abbie. Afterwards I went to Black Belt class at Lake Norman. It was my 1st time going to the Lake Norman location, well, on purpose. Several years ago a friend and I went to a Zumba class at the fitness center across the parking lot but I did not know that was where Lake Norman King Tiger was located when I was there. It was a great class. We worked on poomsaes and self defense as well as did kicks between doing our self defense. I stayed for the sparring class and oh my. It was fun but really tiring. Instructor Marcus did an awesome job leading. I realize that I really do want to get a kicking/punching bag some day. My left elbow is...

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Thursday w...

Thursday was a light (unintentionally) requirements wise and a very emotional day. It started out good with some requirements in the morning and some at work throughout the day. It really helps when I can do some at lunch but yesterday I did not get a full lunch hour yesterday. I had to leave early to take care of some issues related to my mom's estate, which I am trying to close out finally at the end of this month. Then I had to meet Doug at the tax preparers office last night & did not get home until late. I have to admit it was very emotionally challenging and really took the steam out of my day so I ran short of MY requirements goal. I will make them up. Last night just confirmed that I am on the right track, it will get better.

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Monday

Monday was an awesome day! It started with me waking at 4:30 and going for a 1.5 mile walk/run in the neighborhood even though it was 41 degrees. Then coming home to do some sit-ups, push-ups, etc. After work I went to my usual school, South Charlotte and helped with the Little Tigers/Jr. Tigers from 6:00-6:30. After that I went to North Charlotte for Black Belt class and we worked on Bocho Dan one step self defense in a unique way. I learned some corrections/fine tunings that need to be practiced on Bocho Dan one step. I was partnered with Amy Tucker (who also happens to be my mentor) during Black Belt class. It was great to get to work with her again. I stayed for the PMAA class and as always had a ball, learned lots and got to practice my sticks. I love sticks. I did not get home...

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Tuesday

I am feeling very accomplished. I got up at 4:30 this morning and even though it was only 40 degrees outside, I went for a 1.5 mile walk/run. It was cold. I thought I dressed warm enough but when the wind started blowing, boy was it cold. Yes. I did it!! Also, back around Christmas I received a new dobok. I had it (both the pants and sleeves) hemmed. I did not wear the dobok after I got it altered because the pants legs were too snug/not comfortable on my thighs. (not a result of alterations) Well, last night I decided to try it on before I went to my Monday Black Belt class at South Charlotte. I am excited and proud to say that the pants legs were considerably looser. Matter of fact, Master Chin said it looks big on me. I was a little discouraged because the numbers on...

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Saturday

Saturday I went to Black Belt class in North Charlotte and it never fails. I learned something. We worked on Basic 1,2,and 3 as well as Wang Ho 1 & 2 (for my belt level, other belts did belt their appropriate poomsae) We also did Koryo. I don't know what happened, I got distracted and lost my train of thought doing Koryo. Ugh. That is one of my favorite poomsaes, I felt awful and embarrassed. After class I went hiking with some friends and my dog Hans. We went to the National White Water Center. It was a lot of fun. Hans and I were running up and down hills. We really got a good workout in. Then a rest when I got home before doing some more requirements.

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Last night...

Last night was lots of fun and a great work out. I enjoy the feeling of a good Red Stripe night. I enjoyed working with the Little Tigers/Jr. Tigers on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Three of my students that I have worked with since they started are testing next Friday for their next belt. I am so proud of them. I have to confess something here. I am struggling getting in my running. I know I am not the only one who is in this situation. I leave the house at 7:15 in the morning and get home at or after 8:00 on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. Wednesday nights I get home at 7:15. I have been wanting to do it in the morning but it has been so terribly cold. I am struggling getting up and out of the house to run alone in the cold by myself. I...

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Snow Day

I did not have to work today because of the snow. I used the time to work on requirements especially my 5+ Essay on the Kwans. I think it was a pretty productive day. I am still having significant pain in the tops of my shoulders. Today it is not worse in either shoulder, just bad in each. If this continues a trip to see Dr. Bill may be required. I could not have made it through my 1st Black Belt cycle without Dr. Bill. Well, I am going go to bed to try to get some rest, if my shoulders let me. Back to work tomorrow.

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Monday

I was so busy with church stuff yesterday and sore that I took a day off from doing physical requirements. I felt extremely guilty and anxious. Therefore I hit the floor running, so to speak this morning. I have already done 130 sit-ups, 130 push-ups, 200 basic kicks, Wang Ho II 6 times and Wang Ho I twice. I have another 30 minutes of my lunch (the 2nd half) to do some more requirements. I took someone's suggestion and set the alarm on my phone to go off every so often and then I drop right here at my desk and do some sit-ups and push-ups. I am thankful that my boss and coworkers at Killo Exterminating are so understanding and supportive. Tonight I will be meeting with Mrs. Tucker for my 2nd mentoring session then Black Belt class at South Charlotte. This week is Red Stripe. I think more requirements...

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It is a great kinda sore.

Yesterday I attended Black Belt class at North Charlotte. It has been a while since I attended one, approximately 6-7 months. (since all this craziness started in my life). I really forgot how much I enjoy being in that atmosphere with those amazing people, the Masters, the instructors and fellow Black Belts. I realized again, just how much I benefit from that and the sparring class. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was not easy, it wasn't meant to be easy. Master Burkart lead a great class and I felt challenged and encouraged at the same time. I am always really self conscience when I am asked to do bear crawls or any exercise that requires my derriere to be up in the air. I feel sorry for the folks who are behind me and I am embarrassed of it. I really enjoyed working with my mentor, Amy Tucker before class....

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It is a great kinda sore.

Yesterday I attended Black Belt class at North Charlotte. It has been a while since I attended one, approximately 6-7 months. (since all this craziness started in my life). I really forgot how much I enjoy being in that atmosphere with those amazing people, the Masters, the instructors and fellow Black Belts. I realized again, just how much I benefit from that and the sparring class. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was not easy, it wasn't meant to be easy. Master Burkart lead a great class and I felt challenged and encouraged at the same time. I am always really self conscience when I am asked to do bear crawls or any exercise that requires my derriere to be up in the air. I feel sorry for the folks who are behind me and I am embarrassed of it. I really enjoyed working with my mentor, Amy Tucker before class....

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Sorry this pity party is over, go home.

Today I am struggling. I am getting stronger with my burpees and sit-ups but I am so frustrated with my push-ups. Just being honest here, my stomach/gut whatever you want to call it hinders me. It is very difficult to lift all of that. My right shoulder is screaming out in protest. I have no one to blame but myself and trust me, I am doing that. I am not going to stay in the place of negative self talk and blame but I am striving to move past that. I admit that I have a ways to go with my physical performance however, I can see and feel a difference after only one week. I know, having been down the Black Belt cycle road once, that this is in fact a long road that will seem to take forever but in fact it will go fast. I also know that...

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Today has ...

Today has been very productive so far. I did not have to work since it is too cold to put trucks on the road so Killo Exterminating closed for the day. I have taken advantage of that and have worked on some of my papers. I am getting tired of sitting so I am going to take a lunch break and get in some of the physical requirements. Then I will do some more writing later. I don't know if I will be going outside to do any of the requirements because it is only 25 degrees and it is 1:31 in the afternoon. Ugh. I want spring.

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Progress not perfection

I am getting better at burpees and sit-ups. My shoulder and wrist (carpal tunnel) are hurting from the push-ups, but Advil and Aleve to the rescue!! I am reminded of one of my favorite sayings "Progress not perfection". I can see the small changes taking place in my body, yet again. I see it when I look at my forearms and other areas. I realize that this journey teaches me patience with my perseverance. I did not get in this shape over night and will not get out of it over night. Today was a busy day at work. I did not get the benefit of doing requirements at lunch. I met with Mr. Russ, my mentee, after class tonight. We reviewed Yellow Belt self defense and worked on High Yellow self defense. Mr. Russ is a hard worker. Tonight my plans for after class did not materialize. I had planned...

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Last night...

Last night Hans and I went for a 2 mile walk/run right at dusk after work. It was odd not having class due to the Martin King Luther Jr. holiday. Yesterday was a great day for nutrition and portion control. I am really looking forward to working with the Little Tigers and Jr. Tigers tonight. Tonight I will get my mentee to sign the agreement form and start working with him. I like working with Mr. Russ because he is a motivated student. I have seen great growth in his journey.

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Pretest & after

Well, the pretest went reasonably well. I did run/walk the 1.5 miles. I now know where I am and I have a goal of where I want to be with regards to my running. We also did the burpees, sit-ups, push-ups, v sit-ups, poomsaes and self defenses. Again, I know where I am and where I want to be in regards to each of those items. I will say this however, even though I have not been as active as I have been in the past, I am still not where I was when I started Tae Kwon Do back in September 2009. So that is great to help me keep things in perspective.On a different note, I am still in pain, not as much as it was on Saturday during the pre-test and the rest of the day. I have a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. (That was the earliest I...

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Friday

Good morning. Today is Friday, the day before pretest. I am excited and a little nervous. I always get nervous when I test especially in front of Master Evins. Today I have an appointment to get my hair done so I will be taking off a little early from work which gives me a little extra time to study, practice and get requirements done. Yesterday was a good day.I love working with the Little Tigers and Jr. Tigers. I did not get in as many push ups and sit ups as I had set for my goal but today is a new day, new goals with new possibilities.

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Friday

Good morning. Today is Friday, the day before pretest. I am excited and a little nervous. I always get nervous when I test especially in front of Master Evins. Today I have an appointment to get my hair done so I will be taking off a little early from work which gives me a little extra time to study, practice and get requirements done. Yesterday was a good day.I love working with the Little Tigers and Jr. Tigers. I did not get in as many push ups and sit ups as I had set for my goal but today is a new day, new goals with new possibilities.

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Thursday

I am very motivated today. I am proud to say that I prepared only one serving of grits today for breakfast (working on portion control). I had 2 veggie dogs (for protein) cut up with my grits & some nutritional yeast instead of butter or margarine. It was really good. Lunch was Lentil soup and a banana with some sit ups, push ups, and color belt self defenses for dessert. :-)I am very proud because I have done 15 burpees already today. I am not the best at them because of my tummy but I will get better. I am very thankful to Master Thamm for sharing with me about My fitness pal app for my iPhone. I am using it to log my food and exercise.

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Ladies and Gentlemen Start Your Engines

Well, we had our Black Belt cycle meeting last night. The Spring 2014 Black Belt cycle has officially begun. I am excited to be back. I audited the Fall 2013 cycle. I am ready to finish what I stared last year. I am thankful that Master Evins permits people that audit a cycle to carry over 1/3 of the requirements that we did to the next cycle. However, that said, I intend on giving my all during this cycle. I have something to prove, to myself. Last year was an extremely difficult and challenging year but I survived it. I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish this. I believe that earning my 1st Dan Black Belt helped prepare me for the challenges of last year and the challenges of last year have prepared me for this Black Belt cycle. So LET'S DO THIS!!!!

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Saturday

I went to Black Belt class today. I always enjoy it and learn much. I am also inspired and encouraged to keep pushing in my Tae Kwon Do journey and other areas too. It is difficult to be discouraed around that great group of people. I realize that I need to work on the Wang Ho 1 & 2. I need to practice so much that when my outside concerns sneak in that I can not be distracted or mess up. I really appreciated Instructor Lloyd and Master Hartle's (both) help today. Thank you to Donna for being my partner  

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Feeling stronger

Yeah it is Friday. I am also glad because I am feeling stronger. I still don't have much of an appetite but it is improving. I know I need to eat to have fuel to do requirements so I am trying to make the best choices to do so. I am really looking forward to Saturday Black Belt class as always but especially since I missed class last night at South Charlotte.  

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Thursday

I really needed to be healthy and get some requirements done, however, my body has a different plan. I have whatever stomach or intestinal bug that Doug had Sunday. Too weak for much physical stuff.  I can't afford to be sick. I have way too much to do. I will use this time to study my test and finish essays.  

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Wednesday

I am going to try to make this a longer jouirnal because the most recent ones have been from my Iphone and I was limited to a certain number of characters for some reason. Last night was picture night at South Charlotte and the place was buzzing with noise. It was so awesome to see all the students so excited about their pictures. We had a great combined class with the Little Tigers and Jr. Wangho. Each Little Tiger was paired with an older child or an Instructor for the class. It was a great experience. I saw Dr. Bill yesterday about my knee. It was feeling great after I left. He is a great doctor. For some reason it was hurting this morning. I am not due to go back for 3 weeks so I will see if I can tough it out. We worked on self defense and Knife...

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Monday

Tonight we worked on our knife self defense as well as hopkido and other things. I really need to practice on the knife self defense. For some reason, it is more challenging to me than other things. I will keep working. 

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Tough day

This post is going to be short & not so sweet.  I am having to use my iPhone because something is wrong with my laptop. I am terrible pain. Either a sinus infection or my TMJ  is causing severe pain in my ears & face

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Thursday

Glad today is Thursday because I know I have class tonight. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything.  I remember when my mom was sick with cancer and after she passed away in May of 2011, I sought refuge at Tae Kwon Do and church. It helped me focus on something other than my grief. That is why I am so thankful for tonight's class. Last night after work I helped my dad pack some more of his and mom's stuff to either donate or take with him. We are in the process of putting the house that I grew up in on the market and helping my step-father clean it out/clean it up and pack it up is emotionally and physically draiining. I was so tired when I got home last night that I did not get all of my requirements finished but I will strive to make them...

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Tuesday

This has been a most challenging day. Within the 1st hour of waking I had a migraine made doing any requirements impossible this morning. I was able to take some medicine and get to work. I am looking forward to class tonight in spite of the hungover feeling the migraine and medicine causes. I really love working with the Little Tigers and always look forward to the Senior Wang Ho class. Last night was challenging. The footwork drills we did will help me with my sparring. I feel so slow when I spar but practicing those should help me get lighter and faster.

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Labor Day Weekend

This past weekend I went on my 1st Camp Tekoa weekend with my church. It is a family weekend that takes place every Labor Day. I decided to go in spite of being on the Black Belt cycle because honestly, I needed the time away from Charlotte and the spiritual renewal that I thought may come with the trip. I did not get most of my requirements in, only hikiing/running and some poom saes. We stayed so busy doing the zip line, swimming, paddle boating, worshipping and fellowshiping that there wasn't much time left for anything else. I am glad that I took the time to go and will work hard to make up the requirements I missed. It has been a rough year in my personal life and needed the time. I did spend some time teaching front kicks, horse back riding stance and some other things to the 8...

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Tuesday/Wednesday

The Little Tigers class went well last night. We worked on foot drills for blue stripe. I lead the warm ups in our Senior Wang Ho class and we worked on sparring and foot drills. It was fun inspite of this constant feeling of nausea that has taken over since yesterday morning and is still with me. Problem with that, is I don't want to eat but I need to eat for fuel. I worked with my mentee, Mr. Russ, before and after our Senior Wang Ho class last night. He is a High White belt and we went over his self defense, Hwrang and Chagi Sool. I can tell he practices on the weekends.  

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Monday

We had a great Black Belt class at South Charlotte with Instructor Hsin and Master Moon last night. We worked on Wang Ho 1 & 2 as well as some kicks. The tornado hook kick (I think I have that right) is challenging. I am terrified that I am going to come down wrong and hurt my ankle for some reason. I guess it goes back to when I sprang my ankle falling down some stairs when I was in my early 20's. Today I am struggling. I am feeling very weak and like I may be getting or have a sinus infection. I took some over the counter meds and will push through as best as possible. I think it is too early to go to the doctor about it. I just can't seem to "wake up" even after drinking some coffee. My coworker observed that usually one cup makes me...

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Pretest

Well, the pre-test was yesterday. I felt pretty good about my results. I knew I would do well on the written portion. I was not happy with the time I had on the run but it is no one's fault but my own. I am looking forward to improving my time and getting stronger. It will just take work. I am really looking forward to going out of town next weekend but I am also having 2nd thoughts. I am going to need to work extra hard this week to get some extra done before I leave for Camp Tekoa. I plan on taking my jump rope, kicking target, running shoes and will seek out opportunities to get in requirements.    

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Persevere

I woke up this morning at 4:00 ready to get up and work on some requirements but had a killer migraine and couldn't see. I had to feel my way to the bathroom, take some medicine and go back to bed. I was able to get up in time to come to work and can persevere. I am going to work on my requirements at lunch and after work in class and when I get home from class. I am looking forward to our Wang Ho class tonight because it is Red Stripe. Yahoo!  

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Yeah Red Stripe Night

Whew. What a night. We had fun and worked really hard. Thank you to Instructor Hsin for the great workout!! It helped me get in extra requirements. I felt so tired and strong at the end of the night. I felt good about the hard work and sweat. Little Tigers class went well and it is so fun to lead the class. I love that I am helping the children get stronger and more confident.  

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Monday night Black Belt Class

Yesterday was a good day. During our Black Belt class we worked on Hapkido 1-20, Bo Cho Dan specials and other self defense. Instructor Hsin and Master Moon really gave us some great tips especially for #20.  I am continuing to perservere and try to stay focused on my tasks at hand and stay out of my head. One of my goals for this cycle is to learn to practice being present in the moment and not worrying about the past or future. What was was and what will be will be, I can only control what I do and how I react now. I choose to persevere.

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Get of my own way

I am sore but it is a good feeling. I am rather frusterated with myself because of my emotional eating in response to stress. It has been a difficult personal year that is summarizing long and difficult personal and family journeys.  I have been stuck in a horrible place in my head and I have no one to blame but myself for my weight gain. It frusterates me because I allowed poor decisions to compromise my ability to do something I love, my Tae Kwon Do. I have no choice but to start where I am and do the best I can where I am physically.  I know I can do this. I just need to get out of my way! Today's preparation determines tomorrow's achievement.  

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Don't give up

Yesterday was a tough day. Started out good but then I started feeling sick. It was a light day for requirements so I will be playing catch up/make up the next couple of days. My Uverse connection went down on Tuesday so I don't have internet until probably Friday so journaling had to wait until I got to work. I am looking forward to tonight's class. Hopefully we will see pictures of Emerson (Master Chin & Chris' baby).  

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Wednesday

Last night we worked on Hapkido and our 1st Dan self defense. I especially enjoy the hapkido and feel like if I were ever in a situation where I needed to get away from an attacker that the hapkido would definitely come in handy and hopefully be easily recalled. I do need to practice the 1st Dan so that it flows more, however, I think it is coming along. The burpees are getting slightly easier, notice I said slightly. :) 

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Reality Sets In

I really enjoyed Black Belt Camp this past Saturday. I wanted to post about it over the weekend but my laptop was having issues. I realize that I have made some choices since I got my 1st Dan Black Belt that have caused me to not be as prepared as I wanted to be at this point. I have looked to food for comfort while unhappy or stressed, instead of recognizing it for what it is... fuel, not comfort. I really believe that starting the cycle at this time was the best thing for me to do to get out of this place. I think the challenge will prove (like it did last time) to be tough but so rewarding and beneficial. It will be beneficial physically, emotionally and mentally. If I could speak to someone considering doing a Black Belt cycle that may still apprehensive, I would say it is...

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Basics

We had a small but awesome class last night at South Charlotte. We worked on our timing in combination moves, such as stepping forward and punching, knife hand and back stance, etc. (Basically worked on proper techinique and timing) of poomsae moves. Also did some great exercises. Tired this morning, but it is a good tired. "Today's preparation determines tomorrow's achievement." 

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The Journey Continues

Well, today is the first day of the Fall Black Belt cycle and I am excited and nervous. I know it will be tough, but rewarding. I will learn a lot about Tae Kwon Do, myself and the others on the cycle with me. It seems like a long time but I know the time will go quickly therefore effective time management is the key to success.

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