Candidate Journals

Well, the overnight and public test has been completed... I have enough ailments and my back really spassed out on me.. I wont even begin to say it was easy !  I am grateful to have had the opportunity to test with such awesome people.  Today I feel like I must have been hit by a truck, a very large truck... I am very sore and still nursing my  back too. Hope  to be walking in an upright position by the end of the week..lol. Master Shin, Thank you for being an awesome instructor and believing in me and that I could do this and allowing me to test and represent your school.. I also think you were amazing during testing. I am proud to say I train under you.  Master Evins, thank you for allowing me to be a part of the testing experience and for helping me learn and...

Unable to log yesterday's requirements.   In the wee hours of the morning after finally finishing a large order  I went thru every form I've ever done.  SDs, sticks, staffs...  I am very nervous !   I am still short in some areas... I really have tried.. and will do my best. Good luck everyone!  

I'm just a big ball of stress.  I can't catch up.. I feel pulled and stretched so tight I am spread way to thin right now.... and I just don't feel good.    So there, I've whined today...   but, besides that, I am thrilled I woke this morning, I always know I'm up cause the first words out of my mouth are "ouch"...  happy I am here, and able to be running behind, happy I have people in my life that are encouraging... My first Black Belt cycle I thought was the absolute hardest thing I had ever done.   I can't say that now.   This 2nd degree cycle has been even tougher.. and has taken me longer!   I have had struggles along the way that I am still trying to overcome. But, there again, I am still here, still pushing, still attempting  to overcome them.     Thank you to everyone who has put up with me...

Time is free, but it is priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it, you can't keep it, but you can spend it, once you've lost it, you can never get it back.  ... and I never seem to have enough of it.   Its late, I'm exhausted, I still have a lot to do and the clock is ticking, Friday will be here.. SOON !   Nerves are kicking in now too...    Til tomorrow ...    

I knew I should have journaled for today at 3 am when I was still up from last night... now I look up and have almost missed today's journal... midnight is a coming. Doing order entry and poomsaes in between...   hope all are well.   gotta run    

It amazes me how quickly a Monday will arrive.   I am Still SO very far behind ... and that would be in everything,  in my life in general.   Looking at my requirements, my journals will show 2 shy on Friday, I did have 2 days I was unable to make an entry due to technical difficulties, but truth is, I shouldn't be pushing this so close to the wire.  I have to [make] the few minutes to be sure and post an entry for the next few days... This week, how quickly Friday will arrive.    I am stretched so thin... I'm not quite sure how I got here.  I am chalking it up to passion and stupidity.   I love what I do,  but I have to learn to do better.  I'm going to do my best to finish this cycle as I am suppose to... in green, but honestly I'm not sure I've...

Thank you Master Evins for an awesome retreat.  I enjoyed myself & continued to learn.. I find that often you help me learn more about myself.. Today was TJ'S birthday... I am still in shock he is 19 & wish I could have some of the time.back but so proud of him as he is growing. .  I have a lot of work to do & spent a large amount of time today doing so..deadlines.. deadlines.. deadlines.. everywhere..  we really didn't do anything extravagant but I certainly enjoyed the time we spent together ... we baked him a a cake & made his favorite dinner (together). & practiced a few poomsaes..  nothing extravagant like I say but after yesterday's meditation i started thinking more about how important the little things are.. like a $1.94 box of cake mix, and just how special that can be.  One week to go. I have...

LoNG day. Still not complete. Just looked up and realized the time. Trying to  beat themidnight hour.  Good day tomorfow all ! 

Ive made it home from my out of town work trip.All work, No play, and more Wear and Tear on my body. To Be Quite honest, I'm tired, Im Wore out, and wondering what in the world it is I Am trying to do. I Guess I should Just go to bed. I cant actually See the screen anymore anyhow! Night All...

Another long day today and One more shoot day this week.  How quickly I fall behind in editing and ordering... and it is my understanding that tomorrow will be our biggest of the week..  I'm very tired!   My knee has remained swollen all week,  it's been a tough week.  Trying to remain upbeat and happy when everything on you hurts is tough, but the kids can't know just how difficult you are finding the day.. I need SMILES!  My hotel has had a screaming baby, yapping dogs, and a group that has found partying all night to be the best thing to do.. I'm guessing they don't work in the early morning.  Last night I came close to becoming that 'crazy lady' you might see in the movies..  The weather after Monday though has been pleasant and ended up nice for an outdoor shoot.  I think after tomorrow's shoot I am going to return...

My Grandma always told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say...then don't say anything at all...  so I should probably leave it at that.. shot today from 8a til 7:30p... knees and back are screaming and I probably shouldn't share what they are saying.  I hope everyone is doing good !.. I've got to call it a night, another repeat day tomorrow....   

So the weather said it was supposed to be 73 and partially cloudy today... great weather for an outside shoot.   I want to be a weather man, cause even when you totally get it wrong, you still get paid.   I managed to shoot 3 kids and the bottom fell out. Not sure it even got close to 70 until late this afternoon.  So the morning started with a scramble trying to adjust for the weather and wobblers who obviously didn't want their pics made in the rain....  Anymore I hate journaling, seems it is all negative.. So, before I continue, I am SO happy I woke up this morning. Pain and all. LOL.   Between a toddler and a set of steps I think I have pushed my knee over the edge.  It was already acting ugly after last Thursday's shoot, then the 5K on sat I think was another little push, well the...

I"ve not been able to log into journals for the last couple of days.... Had a good run yesterday at the Hopebuilders 5K... Was no need for an ambulance, that is always good.   And the kids from Belmont absolutely ROCK... after they finished their run, they came back to catch up with me and finish my run with me.   They have no idea how much they help me push through.. Thanx guys!   ... I'm out of town for the entire week shooting in Wilmington.    I hope to find a chance to scoot over and visit the guys in Leland.    All for now, testing out the new journal setup here. .. I hope everyone has a great week!    

I wish... my body was numb, and it wouldn't feel all the pain... lol ... good class tonight. I do like a good sweat. Was a tough day overall. 110 kids and one of them decided to swing on me, oops there went the back. it made class difficult, but truth is, they all are right now. just tickled to be here and pushing through. Making plans and preps for my week working out of town next week. I will leave after our charity run and bb class. I hope everyone is doing good ! one day at a time

Very busy day- prepping for busier day tomorrow, Was nice to be able to practice BO staff form outdoors today,,, In the sun!

Great BB Class tonight. We covered a lot of material. I actually went through bo staff 2 with only one mistake... yeah ! ... hapkido 11-20.. at class, well I had them.. we make up names to remember them. on the way home I was trying to run them all through my mind to help imbed them .. uuugh! my memory or lack there of amazes me!!! Everything seems to be a struggle right now. There is SO much on my plate and my personal battles are wearing on me. I'm happy though, every day I get up and actually out of bed... well that is a good day! Thank you Master Shin for all of your patience and help!

Yesterday was a tough day.. so glad I passed the written test. I have a tendency to panic on written tests, (yes I know where my son gets his anxieties). I was exhausted after the physical and a BB class. I seem to always be running on little fuel. So glad to still be standing. All the essays are done, I have my tree.. a few more things down. After all the work in the AM, I had to also work late yesterday evening and that went way into the wee hours. It turned out to be a LONG day. A nice start today however, I got to spend a few hours with the grand baby, and the Panthers won, again! Outside that, today has been tough, I'm extremely tired. One more step forward though. Hanging in there. I have got to figure out a way to get my jump ropes...

We had a really good Mentor Session and workout class with Master Shin this evening. I am so appreciative for his concern that we know our material and do well. I'm still nervous about tomorrow though. Kept dinner to a simple soup tonight so hoping for an easy AM. Essays are done but I've not received my drop box info yet, hope to get those send then I'm Going to bed early, See everyone tomorrow.

I still have one essay to finish. Trying to study for my written test. Battling with my body, and trying to retain all there is to learn. Looks like we may get to run in the rain on Sat. I know I won't melt, just hope I can finish better than I did on the pretest. Still not much food today. I hate it when something I think won't bother me tears my insides up for days. It is so challenging. Today I was pretty sore from yesterdays class. Well that's all for now, running out of time before the midnight hour.

Great Class tonight. We covered alot.. did alot. Running on little food today though so that was my wall. Going to have to call it a night. Start fresh tomorrow. Hope all are well.

I am trying desperately to find balance, in so many areas. They days sometimes seem a blur. I looked up and realized that THIS week is Oct. It has come so quickly, One day at time... breathe!

Busy week. We had testing in Belmont this week. Everyone Did great! I am always so proud of the kids. I wasn't able to go the to beach this weekend. Had to work. FB pics look like everyone had fun. Glad the weather held out for them. I am behind on a few things. I hope to stay healthy enough this week to get some catch up time in. A few essays to finish too. Hope everyone is doing well !

Hurt, Hurt, Hurt.... It makes me so tired. I am truly trying. I get so frustrated and I only know how to push on. I think my pull ups are getting a little closer to actually moving in an upward direction. That is such a big deal to me! I want SO badly to actually be able to do just one pull-up. I had an encounter that involved the police today too.. that took a toll on me, and MASTER SHIN, you will be glad to know I behaved myself (I really think I did good) , and the encounter was NOT because of anything I did. Yeah! I'm tired, I've got a lot to do still, but my body is screaming for rest. So tomorrow, if allowed, I will head into another day with grace and humility. Testing in Belmont tomorrow too. I always enjoy being a part of that....

Its been a long day. Still working on requirements... and edits. I'm trying to fit a few requirements in and stretch every little bit. I really should be going to be but the to do list just seems never ending and today was one of those days where everything I had planned didn't go in the direction I had planned it. Either way, I'm about to miss my midnight cutoff so I will have to add more in the next journal. Health is hanging on okay today..

passed the half century mark yesterday... blessed and happy I am still having birthdays. I never imagined that growing older would be so tough. I "thought" I was a tough cookie when I was 21, who knew it wouldn't be until I turned 51 that I would start to see what a wimp I really was lol. I was able to get a morning workout but haven't felt so good for the past few days so actually spent most of my day resting. My mind is still in denial of what number I reached yesterday. It is my body that tries to continually remind me. No matter how hard it seems though, I am still holding onto the health I have and hope to continue TKD for many, many years to come. ( I wish you all could see how awesome my tornado kicks are in my mind.. ha ha )...

Well, Master Shin and I disagree on 'favorite times of the year'.. lol I already miss the 80 + degrees. Two days in a row now I've had to leave out in the morning with jacket and long pants on. I am already missing my shorts and tank tops. Needless to say, I think I am a summer gal. The cold weather makes my bones hurt, and I think each year it gets worse. Got my morning workout in, and finished my basic requirements. Yeah! I need to work on poomsaes and self defenses - having the balance issues has put me behind. I am glad to be able to walk a straight line again. (or close). I've got to work on jump ropes too. It is not a pretty sight to see me try to jump rope and my knees hate it. Lots of work to get done today... no...

A good start, I met with my friend and we worked out... got a good number of my requirements done. From there... well, I'm trying to stay positive ! As the morning proved to be more and more stressful, I ended up needing to give TJ a ride. He headed out at noon to the Army location with his recruiter to take his ASVAB test. I hope he does well. As for me, one hour at a time today...

Went to Black Belt Class today. I felt better than I have in a very long time. I still have ALOT to learn and complete to make it through this cycle. I wish so badly that it came easier to me.

So, I've set an alarm for after lunchtime to make journal entries... trying to do better in this area. I finally made it to class last night. I took two classes, 5:30p & 6:30p and did not require an ambulance for either.. yeah ! Still dealing with the dizzies.. but I am on the mend. I made it through both classes without falling, and I only almost ran one person over on the road yesterday. (that is an improvement. lol ) I'm sore today but that is all good. Sore is different than pain, I can handle that. I've managed to get my sit ups, push ups, and kicks done already today. The poomsaes are still messing with my balance... it is a work in progress. As long as my body will continue to work with me throughout today I have full intentions of making it to Black Belt and PMAA...

my family & friends still think I should NOT be driving. ... I however think as long as I don't have to look to either side (much).. then I'm okay, and truth is, I am probably still safer than half the fools I pass who are driving and texting. (They all also think I drive too fast too, why start listening now. ha) This morning I did an entire set of kicks without having to hold on to the chair, and did not fall backwards. I did not go to BB class last night, forms are still tough, the physically turning is still really throwing me off. I was told afterwards they did falls and rolls too so probably best I didn't attempt that. uugh! I am hoping to remain well enough through the day today to actually attend class in Belmont tonight. One day at a time my friends. Sometimes...

Well, I am actually sitting in the chair and it is not spinning so I am very "happy' this Labor day, however my Labor day has been spent playing catch up on the endless work I need to catch up on. I've been able to do some kicks today (taking breaks from work) WITHOUT holding on to a chair. Yeah !!! ... Hopefully the balance is 'on the mend'. (I should probably knock on some wood or something. ha) Still have a lot of requirements to do today but while I am at the computer I figured I should make a journal entry. I find these difficult because it always seems like it is after midnight before I get to them, so I always feel like my timing is off.. I hope everyone has been able to enjoy their Labor Day !!

Perserverance ..."steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success...."really these days, that is what I hold onto. There have been days (that go back to the spring cycle in March) that I have just wondered "why"... I can't seem to get one ailment well, or partially well and I come up with something new. I fell this morning, not sure if it was before I got out of bed, or as I was trying to get out of bed.. I've been getting out of bed all by myself for quite a few years now.. It all just took me by surprise. Slammed my shoulder on the edge of the bed, I laugh at another ailment. It is amazing how much we take for granted with our body and how it functions. I already fight pain daily, and now I have this balance thing going on... I will tell...

Master Chelley Just emailed me a congratulations email regarding the pre-written test.  .. I'm thrilled. I Could hardly read the paper and felt like my brain had Just Stopped. The entire morning was a blur. Today I have Spent most of it laying down. the room doesn't Spin as much.  Seems like I am falling apart physically ... the more I Seem to fall apart the more I want to fight.  I truly did Struggle Yesterday, (with a NEW ailment... ) and I want to thank ALL of the Belmont Parents who Support me and do sometimes ask that question, "why", You all Rock! Belmont Rocks !  and So do Your Kids, it is their support that helps me feel younger and able....  Everyone did Good.... let's work on getting better.

Pre Test tomorrow. I am nervous for many reasons. I have a persistent, positive attitude, I am just going to do what my body allows me go.. my best. Good luck all. See you tomorrow.

Back to class tonight.... The last few weeks feel like they have been a whirl wind. Master Shin was out of town, TJ and I took care of Belmont classes. (I always feel honored that he feels confident enough in us to handle things while he is away.) It cut into a lot of hours however that I needed to get some of my own work done. (not complaining). I had some health issues kick in last week too that required additional doctor visits... So actually, teaching was the easy part of last week.. ha ... and then I was trying to prepare for my own family vacation. (around my house, that takes a week)Our family vacation was scheduled directly behind Master Shin's... all last week. I love my kids, my grand kids, but I found real quick that screaming two year olds, 4 yrs olds, and 9 mos olds in...

interesting week. absorbing, engrossing, fascinating, riveting, gripping, compelling, compulsive, captivating, engaging, enthralling, agonizing, difficult, devising, exasperating, costly, ....and if I went into all the details well Again I certainly wouldn't make the midnight cutoff. Its all good. I am going to go to the canal soon and float out with the tide and return when it does. Some good mediation time and nature I think may do me some good. Night everyone.

I must do better about fitting in journal time ( before midnight). I have had a crazy schedule lately and this time of night is edit time, as long as I am up and filling good. Last week, Thurs & Fri I didn't feel well at all and did not do good on requirements. Today started out good. This morning my neighbor and I began a workout schedule again. . It was so nice, I really have missed our mornings. For four years we used to work out, stretching and lifting, and walking everyday, then we both had some medical issues that just made it difficult. It felt really good to be working out with her again today. I worked primarily on requirements. It felt good to knock so much out early in the day. Tonight TJ & I took care of the classes in Belmont for Master Shin. (*I hope...

I have had a very busy schedule the last few days. Shoots that have run late into the night. It has been a struggle to keep up with my requirements and fit everything in...I've had a few bad days in the health dept as well. Still just plugging along, one day at a time. I need to post this before the midnight hour. I can't seem to get to my journals before midnight. I hope all are doing well. Looking forward to class in Belmont tomorrow night.

Went to BB Class and PMAA at Master Evin's tonight. Yep, I'm officially tired tonight! We worked a lot on jump back and jump back hook kicks.. in my mind, you should see how good my jumps are. I apologize for what they probably really look like... I am trying tho. I got my cycle book tonight. I've been keeping all of my requirements electronically on an app on my phone/computer.. truthfully, I think I may miss that. I enjoyed taking class with Master Shin tonight too. It is different having him 'in my line' ... He is always so full of energy! Maybe I'm going to have to grow up and start drinking coffee.. NOT! Hope everyone has a happy Friday. I'm sure mine will be interesting, I have already found a few new muscles tonight.

Sun and Mon were rough days. I know what the culprit was, but I have to say, It totally tasted good!. Sometimes it is like Russian roulette. .. Oh well, I am trying to push through. Today I missed BB class, then pain was a bit much tonight, I had to lay down. Still trying to work on requirements today. I am finding pushups to be tough, my shoulders are not happy with the idea. and jump ropes.. well that has been an issue since day one of my first dan cycle. took me forever just to learn to jump over the darn rope, I'm not very good at it. Something else to work on. The form changes I hope will sink in. There is truthfully still a lot I need to work on. One day at a time, I'm running with it! Night all, going to try to beat the...

Took BB class in Belmont today. We worked on koryo changes and hapkido.. i wish i could just run through them and they would stick but it just doesn't work that way. Lol. After class Ms Julia and I worked on requirements.. She is wounded and I'm finding that two classes back to back are much for me.. we got alot done tho.. then we all pitched in and scrubbed the dojang down. All the mats up.. everything moved dusted and vacuumed. Afterwards we all headed to the pool for a cookout and some king tiger family time. always enjoy time we spend together as a group. Thank you Master Shin for all you do! (And Ms Lori too !)

Thursday was not a good day.. I did not accomplish nearly what I had hoped to.. I am trying so hard to 'listen' closer to my body and figure out just how to pace myself. Running behind tonight too .. missed that toll of midnight when the journal credit switches to the next day. How quickly you can lose a day. Need to get some sleep now.. BB class in Belmont tomorrow... sparring? (That depends on that listening thing again)...And then it is dojang cleanup day. I really should have been in beds hours ago. Happy Sat. ALL..

My soreness didn't seem 'quite' so bad today. I actually took two classes. I love Inst. Tucker joining us in sparring. The soreness has returned. It appears we are becoming good friends. I am really working on trying to get all requirements each day but I still haven't quite got a schedule down... and tonight well, I'm just beat! No more frog jumping here. It is all good tho, much better to move and be sore than sit still, or not be able to move!

Started my day with a meal replacement bar and one of the new protein milk drinks I've found that is tolerable and actually 'yummy'. Then I spent an hour at the dojang with my Self Defense partner, Chey. My brain was a little slow to start today, but no worries there, because my body was too. Trying to stretch all this soreness out. My knees are feeling pretty weak. But it was all good and I think with my Mentor session today I 'may' have first Dan SD sticking. We'll see. It takes me so darn long to remember things. I Fixed a fruit smoothie after the morning workout. We had a good Black Belt Class tonight, Ms. Julia was my SD partner during class. She is always so awesome. We are both moving pretty slow, and certainly differently than we would like to be. She is getting strong, it is...

there it goes again, I look up and the clock almost strikes midnight. it has been a long day. still working on requirements.

Grand baby visit today ! YEAH ! I truly do love the visits. I have to say though, I know why women my age may should steer from having babies. It is exhausting! And, I thought sparring class was bad.. lol Still working out some soreness. Feel pretty good today, working on finding the right combinations of calories and intake based on excursion. I am doing requirements late tonight because I hate to admit it, but after my visitor today, "maw maw" needed a nap. I really was just helping the dog out, cause she needed one too, and I didn't want her to feel lonely. Happy Monday everyone !

Long day. Good day. I haven't been home long, but I did do a couple sparring rounds before coming in for the night. I love these warm summer nights. My kick bag and bob are both kept outside so the warm weather makes it much easier to use them. Black Belt class was good. Changes to Koryo and Geum Gang (sp?) ... Thank you Master Evins for the repetition today. It seems to take me forever to remember poomsaes so the more I can do them the better. Lots of milk today, and not a lot of solids but in general I feel much better than I did yesterday, internally. Muscles feel better today too after Black Belt class. I still have some requirements to try and finish up tonight before I call it a night. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. My grand daughter is visiting in the morning,...

thought I was sore yesterday. I was wrong... TODAY I was sore... lol.  Struggled today with my other issues too..(its like Russian Roulette, I just never know..) .but did manage to get some requirements done. Actually had already called it a night but woke up and remembered I had not made my journal entry. Tomorrow is a new day... one at a time.  Night all !

Good Black Belt Class AND PMAA tonight! ! Real sore today.. I ate a sandwich before class too and that probably wasn't a good idea, so I almost talked myself out of going to class.. SO glad I did not. Actually felt good to get a good sweat on! Hopefully tomorrow these ole muscles will loosen up a little bit. Hope all have a Happy Friday !

Yesterday slipped away quickly and I don't know what I was thinking about what time I would be back home. Ended up later than midnight so I missed my journal entry. I had a blast at a concert though. I don't remember the last time I went to a concert. Sad part is I'm really not sure if it has actually 'been that long' or If i just 'don't remember'. Either way, last night was enjoyable. Inst. Tucker joined up in Belmont tonight for class. It was really great to have her there. I am doing 'okay' on my requirements. I'm pretty sore. Trying really hard to stay on top of everything. One day at a time. I hope to be able to make it to BB class tomorrow night and stay for PMAA.

In my youth I used to make some statement that included the words, "do it two times"... there was more to that, but it appears (so far) that is how many tries it is taking me to make it through this 2nd Dan level. Thank you Master Shin for having the belief in me that I can do this, and for the inspiration and direction I need to help me move forward. After the health battles I went through during the spring cycle, and knowing that I may never be 100% healthy again, I have to admit, I am a little gun shy.. I had some scary moments, and in those moments, I found it brought the things that are most important in life to the surface. I am just going to DO MY BEST ! ... that truly is all I know how to do. I have to learn to...

Tonight was Solid Belt testing in Belmont. I know at the beginning the kids are nervous but know they wouldn't be testing if Master Shin didn't feel they were ready. I love the most the smiles on their faces when they finish and receive their new belts! Great job by everyone tonight ! Stripe Belts are up tomorrow.

Sometimes the paths we intend to travel incur road blocks or detours and we have to make decisions to alter our paths and travel a new route. In my past experiences, there have been routes I never intended to travel that have been the most interesting and resulted in journeys and experiences I would not trade for anything.

Have a very early morning tomorrow so I am trying to hit the sack a little earlier... not feeling great today, had a rough night but really tried to push through and get some extra requirements done. I have few days i need to catch up on logging... hope to have time after my early meet in the am. Good night all. Hope you enjoyed the weather today, and a good Monday to you!

Barely, "by the hair of my chinny chin chin" ... is about how today has gone... I've barely made it on time to everything. On the upside, I wasn't late for any. (Thank you to the officer who didn't stop me in my travels today). Black Belt class was good, still trying to learn new material though. Thank You again Mrs. Dege for your help after class. I think it is starting to stick... wow I wish it wasn't so hard to get some of our poomsaes to hardcopy to my brain. A couple more essays and a lot of requirements I need to try and catch up on. TJ and I have tomorrow blocked out for just BB day. I'm looking forward to it. It is late as usual so I am going to hit publish now before the clock strikes 12. Good night all.. Looks like tomorrow may be...

Wasn't able to make it to class tonight. .. I really don't feel like sharing more because it sounds like a broken record. I know it feels like one. I hope all are well & doing good!

I wonder what it is like to eat and not experience pain afterwards, it has been SO long...tonight it is really wearing on me! Tired, hurt, just not feeling good..calling it a night. Tomorrow is a new day.

. Today was the beginnng of my busy spring season... i am so grateful i have work on the books, but added worry in regards to a schedule that is already stretched to the max. I work with little tigers on tues and wed, they always have a way of taking your mind off any worries, they certainly can consume your complete focus. Its a good thing.I have a very early start in the morning so i am trying to call it a night at least a few Mins earlier. I hope everyone.has had a good day!

I don't seem to be quick at much anymore. Even the hours are faster than I am. Here again, I've missed posting a journal before midnight. I still have more to do tonight, so maybe this late journal will get me back on schedule since I don't seem to get the moment to sit and journal until after midnight.A lot of 'non-green' . It all feels overwhelming. So much balance is required and I'm not just talking about the kind you do on one foot. My to-do list seems endless.. lol. short and sweet tonight. I hope all are good. Good decision I think we made on our community service project!night all

Master Evins it was great to see you today.. My heart has been heavy for you.. you and your family have been and are in my prayers.Sparring class. Started good, ended, well not so. I am so aggrevated at myself for a lousy blocking job. Sometimes i feel like I am getting better then I have stuff like today happen. I took a blow directly in my pancreas area, felt like something inside ripped.. I am not quite sure what happened but it dropped me to my knees. Was almost 20 minutes before I could stand up straight. The pain has not eased yet and is radiating into other areas... wow.. i am ready for this to stop. Even still, I missed a block, or didnt get out of the way, or allowed myself to be in harms way. I have REALLY got to work on that. I have enough troubles,...

"Thank You!" Master Evins for the generous credits from Instructor's Camp!

First tonight I need to say ... " Where did February go?".. I think I lost a month somewhere. Feb was a challenging month. Today I was surprisingly not as sore as I thought I might be after this weekend's Instructor's Camp. I am hoping that is a sign of condition improvement on my part. Still working on some food issues, but definitely feeling better all around. I enjoyed this past weekend, and although I wasn't so sore, I did feel pretty tired today. Really, where did Feb. go? I'm behind on a lot of requirements. I'm trying. I have so many irons in the fire, and so many tasks on my plate, and dealing with the illness I've experience last month, I've wondered if maybe I'm not a little looney to even think I can take on so much. But then I think, maybe looney is okay, and why not...

It is the end of a great weekend. I had a super time at Instructor's camp. Was great seeing folks I've met in the past plus new ones I've met this time... there was SO much to learn. I am exausted now though, I think the weekend has caught up with me ... might take me a day (or two) to recoup ...but ... it was worth it. After a late nap ... A lil TWD now and this ole girl is off to bed. Nite all, have a great week!

First night at instructor's camp was great.Short night however.. woke.up at 4a.. never able to go back to sleep. .. today may be long. We are off and running.

Made it to Greenville. . Looking forward to seeing everyone.. let the training begin!

I am SO glad we did not get the snow "they" thought we might. Making preparations to be away from home for the weekend and heading to Instructor's Camp. Looking forward to seeing everyone... travel safely all!

SNOW !!!!! I am SO ready for Summer ! I do admit though that I have already been outside in it.. I worked on some sparring rounds on BOB, who resides in the very back of my yard.... In the snow! The several weeks of no food really took a toll on me, and I can really tell when I am trying to do any kind of sparring rounds. Tonight's class was good. I had an opportunity to work with Ms. Julia on my staff form and some self defenses. She has agreed to be my self defense partner for the Black Belt test. She is really an awesome young lady! I am running out of time.. the clock will click to midnight in moments and I may miss my journal entry for the day. So for now, Everyone enjoy their snow day!

Feeling a little stronger today. A boiled eggs and toast... does wonders.I've tried to do a little extra on requirements today, not trying to overexert, but so badly need to catch up. Looking forward to Instructors Camp!Hope all are well

Made it through both the Black Belt class AND sparring class today. YEAH! I am pretty tired though. Going to read a little of my book and call it a night.

so... I wonder If not cussing and individual at the IRS out could be considered a RAOK. ???? on another note: reading my book, I liked this: ""But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here." Paublo Coelho I did BB class and PMAA class both last night. Slowly with the help of new meds beginning to get some solid foods in me. Still doing a lot of smoothies but I think they have been a huge help in getting through this bout. Feeling a little stronger.. Just trying to be like the little train that could. ... "I think I can, I think I can, I Think I can.".... My colors are not looking good, but I am in no way giving up....

I am not a big winter weather fan... just saying. I live in the South For a reason!YES ! we really did 520 kicks on Monday. The last class of the day was cancelled because of this bad weather so maybe Master Shin just wanted to get all the kicks for the day in. :-) and I had already done 100. My legs are a little sore today, but that actually feels good because it means I'm doing and I definitely needed the numbers, and I'm thrilled that I am feeling a little stronger than yesterday. I am still running primarily on some awesome smoothies, but am slowly introducing solid food. This bout has been a rough one!I spent a good deal of time last night going over the test questions. I still have answers I need to find. Since school is already cancelled for tomorrow, and we are still having...

Made it to Black Belt Class today! Yeah! I hope this is the beginning a feeling better!

So for now My foods have been reduced to some sort of liquid form.. I've been a wreck, today I feel a little better. I've been doing a lot of research on foods that I might can use to help my issue, in a liquid form (for now). I've obviously given up some foods that I love. A good meal shouldn't be had through a straw though, kind of takes the appeal of eating away. I have really been working hard though to put into my body everything that it needs to function, today has been one of the best days I've had in what feels like forever. I've learned that with no food your brain starts to lose some of it's abilities I hate to admit it but I've been a sick pup. I do not like at all the way I have felt going on two weeks now. I...

I went to the doc yesterday. He gave me some new meds to help hopefully with inflammation hoping that my pancreas is inflamed and this along with the other meds will get me back to the level that I can at least eat solid foods... three times a day (or more) would be nice. In the meantime. I have pulled out my handy dandy blender. I've been mixing all kinds of fruits, and almond milk, some hemp seed, blueberries and anything else I can think of that I can blend and eat that may be good to get me nutrients, vitamins and such. I cannot describe what a wonderful taste it was and how nice it felt to feel a little full without the pain that goes with it. Ice cream, no matter how good just isn't getting it to sustain a workout. Today I tried to do some forms. I...

Thank You Master Evins for the meal replacement package today. I am trying to get and keep food in me.. Calories and nutrients to allow my body to keep going. This has been a really tough week for me. I am actually considering baby food at this point. Good enough for the young ones, might be good enough for this 'older' one. Yesterday I tried to do more and be more active. I even did a shoot late in the day.. By evening I felt like I had been run over and headed into a relapse with the cold mess. This morning I was exhausted. It was like starting over. Today I made a choice to not go to BB and sparring class. Afraid that if I push too much, I may not be able to pull it together and finish. I read the post Master Shin posted from Grand Master...

"On the road again, I just cant wait to get back on the road again..." this has been a tough few days. I managed to get liquid proteins in me today..not the best tasting but 180 calories a pop.. and a few bananas and some ice cream. Not the most luxurious or nutritious but I was thrilled to get all that in all in one day.. i don't totally feel like a strong breath could push me over. It might take two now. I decided it best to not try two classes tonight and am hoping to build more strength tomorrow and be ready for classes Sat. I managed some poomsaes today and SD but nothing to brag about and certainly not what I NEED to be doing... but forward progress. Tomorrow is a new day.

A very non productive day. I spent most of the day in the bed.. Put my big girl pants on long enough to teach my 3p class... that was about all I could muster. I did stop at the store on the way home and bought some vanilla pudding. It didn't totally eat my insides up so I am thrilled to get some calories in me... I did not get any real requirements done today other than what we did in my class..nor yesterday thanks to feeling like dirt...and already showing yellow in some areas that stresses me. Back in the bed for another rest after my class and pudding, and I managed another for pudding for dinner. I am in hopes that I am feeling better as the new dawn comes and I can begin to get caught up. I have heard there are many others fighting crud too... I...

All this ole body can handle today. I've hit a wall today. NO energy... and to boot someone has shared some crud with T and I both... 4:30 in the afternoon and I am done, stick a fork in me...I am going to bed. I hate wishing or sleeping days away but this one has to be.

I have almost made my goals for the day... a run didn't happen. The wind was crazy today. I went out several times to pick up trash and other things that were being blown across the yard and found myself being blown across the yard, literally. We had a really good class tonight. Great workout! I finished up with a wet uniform anyhow. I am still fighting the food factor. My energy level is not where it needs to be. I am still having problems taking in enough calories, so today I bought some Ensure.. well that ended up being pretty gross. Tomorrow I am going to look into the AdvoCare meal replacement products. I need more calories with less digestion. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, to Inst. Dege!!! You know why! and like always You Rock! I still have some paper work to finish up and an early morning...

Well, I'm still in the yellow on some of my requirements. I've tried to get all of my daily requirements done today prior to kickoff time. Halftime now! I've logged what I've done so far today, not happy with the yellows I may try to fit in a few more later tonight. Still on the dragging behind side after yesterday's two classes though. I really appreciated Mrs. Master Hartle yesterday breaking out how she does sets of requirements. I've been doing mine in sets but was trying to work on one or two at a time and then was finding myself into the wee hours trying to get everything else done. Today I've done it in sets like we did in BB class yesterday.. I love that I am always learning something. The Korean Stick forms yesterday put a little mojo on my knee... those back stances are tough. Have to...

Brain overload... So quickly I feel like I'm falling behind.. I am struggling a bit .. Staying positive. Mr. Weeks said relax, don't be so rough on myself. Most days this week it has felt like there are not enough hours in the day. . here again, my journal for my day (I'm still working on Friday stuff) is actually tomorrow already.. wow. There is still so much I need to learn. Thank you Ms. Dege for your generous offer to help me out. You rock!Black Belt Class tomorrow hopefully I can get a few things to 'stick'. I always look forward to seeing Master Randle, Ms. Dege, & Ms. Tucker at the BB classes at Char. Well, I've run out of hours in this day too. I need to try and get some rest, two classes back to back always have a tendency to wear me out. Rest well all...

Yesterday was a bit challenging.. I did not accomplish anywhere near what I had planned. As the day went on, my pancreas began acting up.. by late afternoon I was dealing with a lot of pain. After helping teach at our satellite class I went home to try and rest and see if I could get it to ease up... it didn't and I missed Black Belt class. I really had planned to go. Today I am still struggling with it.. I must have ate something that I shouldn't have. My baby sister has been in the hospital too. I admit I have not been as focused as I should.. I've been very worried about her. Between the two of us, we have enough ailments for many.. it is crazy! Today, I met early this morning with my Mentee. She was not able to meet after class as we had planned...

Today was my father's birthday.. he would have been 72.. It is hard to believe he has been gone 27 years.. sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I miss him... I wish he could have met his grand son and see what an awesome young man he has grown into...I wish he could see us work together towards Black Belts..along with the many other grand children he has had and their accomplishments. He was a definitely a nerd for his time, I wish he could see the computer i carry in my hand that I call a cell phone... he would be a gadget nut i know... ha. i had a tough time with requirements today.. my body is really screaming for recoup time. Still nursing back spasms.. i hope it eases up SOON! Pretest finished up Sat. I think i did okay... always room for improvement.. i am going to...

Tonight was pretest part one.. . I am aggrevated at myself for not maintaining focus and started my very first form as the wrong one from what was called. for me personally I dont think it ever gets easier to test at any level, i am always nervous. I know the form we were àsked to do. I Know the one I Started too and did an ok Job of Combining the two but that doesnt Count. I have to say thoùgh I loveTKD and I at every class or test I do learn something new. I wish my body would let my brain do what it wants to...that may never happen, and im never going to be an olympic competitor but i am going to keep learning and keep learning about my own limits and Keep pushing them and continue to try and live thru spirit and determination..who knows maybe...

I've been stretching and massaging my back. I still am SO disgusted that for months it has not bothered me and now that the cycle has started, electricity has shown back up in the form of shooting pains in my back. I was feeling "too good" on boot camp day. I let that "feeling good" get ahead of my good sense... so now I pay. Ha. The craziest of it all, the back is only one the many hurts I already have.... Mornings are like a check list.. feet, ouch, check, knees, ouch, check, shoulder, ouch, check, hips, ouch, check, insides, ouch check... yep all is good ! I'm still here.. and that makes me feel good! I'm trying to get my pace and make my daily requirement numbers. I'm splitting some things up trying to allow for some rest areas in different body parts. We'll see how that works out....

correction for this test entry.  this was what should have been the original entry. Day two .. official kick off of the Black Belt Cycle Spring 2015.    I went to yesterdays Sparring Seminar, and have to say I am a little surprised I'm walking as well as I am today.My knees are not extremely happy with me, and my back, well it's still in attitude mode, but outside that there really was a sense of surprise this morning when I didn't need help to crawl out of bed.  There is a part of me that enjoys the cycle because it adds a sense of urgency to getting a workout in my day or a good training session.  I often, most days have some body part that hurts so it is easy to use that as an excuse to take a day off.   I like the way I feel when I am more regular...

I am working in Wilmington this week. We are shooting outside and the Weather has been beautiful.yesterday I enjoyed my Walk / Run near the Cape fear River. I really enjoy History and love the area's old structures.I also was able to workout in Leland yesterday. It was a blackbelt class but was their weapons Week. Master Osborne went thru our forms and Self defenses for me before we dove into weapons. I hope to go back tomorrow night.Today I was told about a 2.4 mile trail near Wrightsville beach so I went there for my miles. it was later than yesterday So on the trail back I Was able to see a beautiful Sunset. Just a little bit to go to finish up my miles.. I will probably head back to the river again tomorrow afternoon When I finish shooting.

My schedule has been so crazy this week. I am SO grateful the entire 10 weeks have not been this stressful and demanding. I don't know that I would have made it this far. I am still very back logged in my order processing. I am leaving town for work and under the gun to get everything complete and to the lab before I head out. I am hopeful that I am able to catch some classes while out of town and that just being away from the normal household stresses will be enough to help me NOT stress anymore than I already am and continue to prepare for the test(s) upcoming. This is journal entry number 50... last required. I've been keeping copies of all of my entries, and have more than 50 I just didn't get them all posted. I am sure in times to come it will be...

Because I am working out of town next week there are a lot of students and parents I will not get to see again before the Black Belt test. Today before and after class there were a lot of comments and best wishes for the overnight test. We have such a wonderful group of people at Belmont. They really are all very special and have been a wonderful group full of support to me along this cycle journey. They all pitched in and made a big difference when it came time to ask for toys and toiletries for our community service project.I have received 'booty bumps' ( a few strong ones from some of the smaller kids, I had to ask them to take it easy on this old lady and not to knock my back out). I've been asked regularly how I'm doing, I've been told "you can do it!",...

I said it out loud today... "Not this weekend, but next"'. I had many Parents and students asking today, ''what Week? ". It felt good to Say- 'Week 10' but its NOT over yet,. I still have Some requirements to finish... and I am practicing. ... Worried sick that I will forget everything when the time Comes..... Trying to stay focused even with the ever growing work load.

My days seem to be running together, But I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The numbers I have remaining for requirements are now in the hundreds or less, not the thousands. Wow ! Looking at what I have completed, I am SO tickled. I can tell that I am stronger, I did better with the medicine balls during endurance class...but I also feel so tired and weak, and wounded. This has certainly been an interesting and challenging journey. Just a little more to go. I need to stay focused and finish strong!

I had a long morning shoot... went to sparring class tonight (yeah, only one more to meet my requirements), and tonight I am editing. My routine has been, edit, push-ups, edit, sit-ups, edit, poomsaes, etc. I still have a lot of editing but I've reached my limit for now and my daily goal numbers for tonight. My eyes are getting heavy. Time to call it a night.

In short, today was a good day. We had a good endurance class in Belmont tonight. I feel certain my legs and arms will remember in the morning, probably everyone that joined in tonight will agree.I am taking a sparring class tomorrow night, one of the two I have left as required. I sure do wish my knees didn't pain me so much. I am wearing my brace on my left knee all day now, not just when I work out. I just listen to see which screams the loudest, my back or knees and I'm hanging on!

Everything Started out of Sorts this morning when the school Called with a 2 hr delay Then within minutes my Job location Sent a text stating they had a 3 hr delay.On the upside it gave me an earlier Start on my requirements.I went to Black Belt class tonight and stayed for PMAA . Both were good classes .I also Was able to Meet with my Mentor before Class.. Its been a long day I still' am terribly far behind with my work. Maybe I will get Caught up before the end of the weekend.for now, I need to call it a night.

Started my day forgetting that today is St Patrick's Day, needless to say I had no green in my wardrobe. That is not a good thing when the first half of your day is being spent with preschool kids who all felt it necessary to remind me...  It must have been the cold rain too cause today from the get I just felt off and a bit edgy.  Tonight doing my poomsaes i kept making mistakes, starting one and finding myself doing another.  Must be tired and distracted too...  On a good note. We Candidates took our 'toys and toiletries' collections to the hospital this evening. It felt good knowing we were doing something that would be helpful to others.  I unfortunately have spent too many nights at the hospital with TJ when he was a baby. He was a sick little guy.  I understand how big the little things can be....

Ive been thinking about yesterday's physical test.  I was worried about improving from my pre-test because my body has felt so run down. I was pleased overall and I did improve since the pretest. i was still not able to do a pull up but Instructor Lloyd said "thats a point five" and even that is improvement because I actually had some upward movement. At the beginning of this cycle I had no movement and couldnt even hold my chin above the bar in a hang.  Maybe one day I will actually be able to do a pull up.  This cycle is teaching me that I can do things I didnt think I could... I am stronger than I realized.Today Ive experienced my normal Sunday soreness. Ha. Seemed a little more intense this morning.   I have tried to do some extra requirements today, still playing catch up.  I spent most...

WooHoo! Written and physical test complete. I passed the test. Didn't miss any answers. I did better on my mile by a couple of minutes compared to my pretest. I am SO excited! A tiring day though.. physical test, black belt class and then sparring class. I had to take a nap when I got home. I've been trying to catch up on my missed requirements from Thursday tonight. I'm beat now. I'm going to call this a day and start a new tomorrow. Congrats everyone!

Tomorrow is physical and written test day. I think I am ready but I am nervous. My knees, worry me... But like everything, I am going to show up and just do my best.I am going to call it a night, this is the earliest I have been able to get in the bed all week. The rest will not hurt me. Good night all.

I am on a quick break, In between events at my Kellogg's shoot tonight...So I thought I Should at least try to do a Journal entry,So far it has been a long day. My Shoot this morning ran over because they added stuff to the Schedule and then with the hour ride home it left me with only a Couple of hours to Unload and recharge before heading to this evenings job.. I knew this was going to be a crazy week. I wasnt prepared for how exausted I feel Or for how far I am behind on everything.I am so glad I got my essays done.I studied for the written test some more this morning during breakfast. I feel good about it, Just hope I dont panic,I got my tree (shrub) the other day. I chose a Japanese Holly. I have never been very good with plants. The attendant assured...

We had testing for stripe belts tonight in Belmont. Everyone did great! I love that we have more parents training now too... During my run/walk tonight my knee is acting up.. they both have been screaming lately but tonight the left one was making the most noise. I hope it holds on. I feel like I should be getting stronger with all the pushups I've done but honestly I think they are getting tougher. Tomorrow is a busier day than today so I'm going to call it a night.