Candidate Journals

Dear Journal, I definitely can relate to Solomon that states that life is meaningless. I'm also come to the conclusion that the only thing that matters is God. I've been in search of what my true purposes is. sometimes I feel like I've found it and other times I feel like I have no clue. Are we just to exist? China to separate my lives for my children just seems almost impossible but it needs to be done. This is to be my last official journaling. There's so much to say. I need to complete my requirements for my leadership. I'll pay take another week and a half to complete it all. Let's see what this week brings.

Dear Journal, what a day. I help my daughter at the flea market today. We rented a booth so we had to be there at 8am. To make it more interesting I had my two year old grandson, Kash, with me. Then I went to work until 8 PM

Dear Journal, today went to help and completed another leadership credit. Also stayed for black belt class. We learned new form (one I had never seen before). I find it interesting that TKD is constant learning. Also realized during class warm-ups that I have to continue conditioning myself physically. It's the cycle is over I decided that I would slow down or not do my physical activities at all, and I can tell the difference in my strength and endurance.

Busy day today even though I didn't go to work. I did however you like the time wisely I'm going to get a 90 minute massage; clean my garage to get ready for this weekends' Flea Market. I realized that I also need to do a better job and getting regular massages. I was way overdue. Tomorrow is

Dear Journal, today I went back to class to work on finishing up my leadership credit. It felt a little different. I really paid attention and realized how the instructor commanded the room and made me wonder if I had that same command. I know I definitely need more training

Dear Journal, today I went back to class to work on finishing up my leadership credit. It felt a little different. I really paid attention and realized how the instructor commanded the room and made me wonder if I had that same command. I know I definitely need more training

Dear Journal I was so exhausted after my black belt test yesterday that I fell asleep while eating.

Dear Jounal, can't sleep. Too much on the brain. Will be getting a chiropractic adjustment at 7:25 in the morning. Plus laser treaentvon elbows, shoulders , which is Desperately needed. I'm not going to worry but try to stay focus. Been saying my affirmaton "I am a Black Belt. I am a Black Belt!"

Dear Journal, had a really good day today. consisted of lots and lots and lots of practice (five hours worth of practice I put in today). I hope it pays off tomorrow night. A couple of things need to be refined but I hope it all comes to me during testing. I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be. Sending up a prayer now

Dear Journal, all is well on the homefront. I'm trying to get things in order for the next two days. I'm going to be in MIA with my family. It's going to be a true test to see whether they can truly function without me. Have one more Sparring class and several Leadership classes to complete as well. I need some sleep.

Dear Journal, thank God for family and friends. Relying Heavily on them for support while I continue to embark on this journey. early this morning did the usual went to sparring class and then Double back for black belt class. We got new uniforms tonight which made it become more real for me. I'm gonna be testing for my black belt. But I have to get through Friday first.

Dear Journal, I finally feel like I'm making progress. Met with both my Mentee and mentor today, which finalized our tenth and last session for both. Scanned both forms and dropped in the dropbox. Yeah... Also, Did one more Leadership credit tonight. About to throw a load of laundry in the washing machine. Baby clothes. How does two little babies go through so much clothes?

Dear Journal, I finally feel like I'm making progress. Met with both my Mentee and mentor today, which finalized our tenth and last session for both. Scanned both forms and dropped in the dropbox. Yeah... Also, Did one more Leadership credit tonight. About to throw a load of laundry in the washing machine. Baby clothes. How does two little babies go through so much clothes?

Dear Journal, I finally feel like I'm making progress. Met with both my Mentee and mentor today, which finalized our tenth and last session for both. Scanned both forms and dropped in the dropbox. Yeah... Also, Did one more Leadership credit tonight. About to throw a load of laundry in the washing machine. Baby clothes. How does two little babies go through so much clothes?

Dear Journal, Having a so so day. Got up this morning and my Spirit was out of sorts. Meditation didn't work. Didnt even make it to church. Very deep in thought and prayer. Took an ice-cream break and focused on TKD. Collectively dedicated 3+ hours. Did about 65 poomsaes including the new forms I need to know. I just need to stay focused and be a little more discipline with my time. I don't think my family understands.??

Dear Journal, Having a so so day. Got up this morning and my Spirit was out of sorts. Meditation didn't work. Didnt even make it to church. Very deep in thought and prayer. Took an ice-cream break and focused on TKD. Collectively dedicated 3+ hours. Did about 65 poomsaes including the new forms I need to know. I just need to stay focused and be a little more discipline with my time. I don't think my family understands.??

Dear Journal I'm exhausted. It's about 8:55PM I'm just getting home from work Really long day. I gotta push through and trying to fit some more poomsaes in. Have a few things set up with the famaily but have to postpone because I need To set some additional time aside to work on my staff forms. Still praying some answers regarding the twins.

Dear Journal, today was very hectic. My daughter decided she didn't want to be mommy anymore just before I was leaving for work this morning. I had to figure out what I'm going to do with the twins think I might have to quit my job in order to take care of them. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that they're safe and secure

Dear Journal, Having a great day this far. However, during adult day class went to do a roundhouse and my leg slipped out from under me. I got the wind knocked out of me and I think I have whiplash. Acutally quite funny now I look back at it. Met with Mentor and Mentee today. Learned something new. Heading to sparring class in Mint Hill and full cirle to do Black Belt and PMAA classes. I'm not sure what should be going through my head but its all jumbly. Am I the only one that feels this way??

Dear Journal,I went to the YMCA this morning and attempted running on the treadmill instead of the indoor track (my knees are acting up). It was a pleasant change. I have sparring in Mint Hill tonight and am going to try to double back for black belt class because it's going to be challenging. The babies had a doctor's appointment today. Chol weighs in at 7 lbs 1 oz and Cade at 9lbs 1 oz-Off to the races!

Dear Journal,I'm having a great day but I'm in desperate need of a massage! :0) I have fulfilled my physical requirements and have met with my mentor this morning as well as had a peaceful meditation. To top off my day, meeting with my mentor drove me to feeling hopeful in assisting in the upcoming classes. I still need class leadership credits in sparring and to practice, practice, practice!

Dear Journal,I'm having a great day but I'm in desperate need of a massage! :0) I have fulfilled my physical requirements and have met with my mentor this morning as well as had a peaceful meditation. To top off my day, meeting with my mentor drove me to feeling hopeful in assisting in the upcoming classes. I still need class leadership credits in sparring and to practice, practice, practice!

Dear Journal,I'm having a great day but I'm in desperate need of a massage! :0) I have fulfilled my physical requirements and have met with my mentor this morning as well as had a peaceful meditation. To top off my day, meeting with my mentor drove me to feeling hopeful in assisting in the upcoming classes. I still need class leadership credits in sparring and to practice, practice, practice!

Good Morning Charlotte!! Wow...got an early start on my run. Did some sit-ups, push-up. I'm praying that my shoulder holds up over the next two weeks. They need some TLC. Every time I think the computer is fixed it crashes..:0) Only was able to journal last night. Couldn't do the drop-box. So here I am at KINKO's agian (giving them my money) so I can getter done. Looking forward to Church this morning. I need me some Jesus... All sorts of evil/sinful thoughts running through my head. I am a sinful wretch!! I'm going to try and Create a Beautiful Day. Practice, practice.

Dear Journal. had fun at Bible Talk last night. Topic was about what Sin/Old Habits are you trying to breaking and why haven't you done so yet. One of mine is taking on too many things on my plate. In other words I create this busyness when I should be slowing down so I can hear God's voice. Powerful. But talk about busy. I can't believe 8 weeks have come and gone. Before you know it testing day will be here. I'm excited and nervous and the same. So many say its a great accomplishment. I just want my Teacher(s) and my family to be proud of me and to know that I tried to the best of my abilities. After all, that's what I would tell my children. Fulfilled all my physical requirements today and then some. Chair Massages at the 5k this morning was a success. Met with my...

Dear Journal, was restless last night. Watched the twins and my other grandson, Kash. Last nights classes were great. Felt like I'm making progress with retaining some stuff. Went to the Y this morning for my morning workout (pull-up, sit-ups, ran on indoor track). I always wondered what the other runners think of me. I would warm-up with some burpees, sit-up and push-ups, then run a mile; do some more push-ups/sit-ups; run another .5 miles and complete withi some poomsaes. ;0). At Kinko's now but have to run off to work shortly. Need to figure out how I;m going to type up my final paper. Im making progress. Whoohoo!!

First official day of Spring. Whohoo. Sunny out. Having a really good day today. Went to work at the Chiropractor's. Had an adjustment and electro-stem treatment on my shoulder and right elbow. Hopefully it will get me through the rest of the week. Need to schedule another one before Testing. Heading to Sparring, Black Belt and PMAA class again tonight. I need a couple of more hours in the day, Wouldn't be awesome if we could add hours when needed??

Dear Journal, Just lost all my entry. trying to borrow computers from where ever as I go, Last night tried to resurrect mine but no luck. Yesterday when to sparring in Mint Hill and doubled back for BBelt and PMAA class, Trying to meet up with Mentee but having a schedule issue. Praying for a compromise on her part, Lets see what today brings, And to God be the Glory.

Dear Journal, Just lost all my entry. trying to borrow computers from where ever as I go, Last night tried to resurrect mine but no luck. Yesterday when to sparring in Mint Hill and doubled back for BBelt and PMAA class, Trying to meet up with Mentee but having a schedule issue. Praying for a compromise on her part, Lets see what today brings, And to God be the Glory.

Dear Journal. Just left the YMCA. was there at the break of 5:30am. Still need a computer!! At Kinko's as we speak. I feel pretty good. About to meet me Mentor to see if I've retained anything since Thursday. The brain's not the same any more. They say you hit 50 and its down hill from there. Worked on some of my old poomsaes and self-defenses, ran and worked a little cardio. Also went over some exercises I learned in Sparring Class. Looking forward to the Joint Community Service Project today. Go Team!!!

Dear Journal, Looking forward to my weeks ahead. Today it rained. Awesome for the tree, grass and plants. Wooked on a little of everything today. Took it light with my physical workout. trying to give my body time to repair. Family, is very important to me, but its seems I'm gonna have to put things in perspectives these next few weeks. Three more weeks

Dear Journal, Whoohoo....I passed my test today!!! Life is good. I have to admit. I struggled through on 3 hours sleep. Half way done. Now the hard part for me. Gonna need to muster up some more time to getter done!! Instructor Schneider... You're my Hero. Love you Lady!!

Dear Journal, My day was very hectic today. Not sure what tomorrow will bring. It's Been challenging not having a computer at home. Thank God for support of friends who will let me scan, and type documents. Whew!! Just finish dropping in required documents. Now I will take my tired carcass home. Did my physical requirements today. My body should be getting stronger but I am constantly sore. Having the knowledge of a Massage Therapist but I am not taking care of self. I know that I am running on empty and my muscles do not have any recovery time. They are atrophyed.

Dear Journal, been trying to post journal for the last 90mins: first my computer crashed then my iPhone won't publish my entry. So, here I am starting all over again. Please work, please work. Wanted to type up my handwritten essays. Had a very long day today. Started my fist client frirst client at 7:30am. Worked til 5pm. Met with Mentee. Trying to come up with a game plan to fulfill all requirements before Saturday.

Dear Journal,I missed my mentor this morning, and I feel like I'm making a lot of progress. This is a beautiful day today and I would like to catch up on my sparring and leadership one credits. I don't know exactly what to do because time is against me. I'm going to hope for miracles! I find it very difficult not to be there to support my family having one car makes doctor's appointments, school, along with everything else tricky. I will do the best I can to travel to various schools by any means necessary.

Dear Journal, What an amazing day today turned out to be. Weather is warming up, its staying lighter longer. Today was my date to be mute all day. It was pretty challenging but what an empowering exercise. It made me realized not to take speaking for granted and to look and experience life through another world. I found myself earlier during the day furstrated that I had to wite things down but as the day went on i got a little more creative. Awesome Exercise.

Dear Journal, Got up early so I could fulfill most of my requirements for the day. Went to Church. Gave one of my Sisters a ride to and fro because her truck broke down. The Sermon today at Church was beautiful. It was on being lukewarm with your love for God, One Another and the Loss. Had a couple of clients today and came home and stained the draws on Cade and Chol's furniture. I hadn't done that before. It felt great knowing that I accomplished something. Looking forward to meeting with my Mentor tomorow.

Dear Journal, sometimes I over think things. Had black belt class and I think I left my brain at home. My sparring class was AWESOME! I believe my strength is Sparring. I learned a lot. Just got off work and about to head home. Wish I could go some place quiet to study and rest. Need to get the rest of my requirements in before next weekend. Study, Study Study.

Dear Journal, Woke up and felt much better. Took my workout light today. Did not want to regress. Went to the YMCA and only ran a mile. Had lots to think about. Defnitely to finish the course and need be a little better at time management. I had Bible Talk after work and was encouraged by Spirit of the women I help lead. They are all rooting for me. I cant wait to see what unfolds over the next few weeks.

Dear Journal, I remember when we had our initial BB meeting to discuss what "the cycle" would entail. After leaving the meeting I thought about how in the world I would get through this 10 weeks of physical and mental training when both my knees, shoulders, back, right hip and elbow hurt: virtigo episodes; I have one vehicle, 3 jobs. Sometimes I would ask myself "why am I doing this again?" BUT, Most of the times I found myself being grateful that I have not quit, that I'm making history and I'm a part of something great. I wondered what message am I sending to my family and friends and what legacy to I want to leave behnd in my journey as a Black Belt. I know what I dont want (quitter). I know I have to go the distance. If not for self, then for the others that will come...

had trouble logging in today. Really need a computer.. Did lots of review on old ciriculum. worked really hard to stay abreast. Now need to find time to add dropbox items. Not sleeping much. Can one die from a lack of sleep?

had trouble logging in today. Really need a computer.. Did lots of review on old ciriculum. worked really hard to stay abreast. Now need to find time to add dropbox items. Not sleeping much. Can one die from a lack of sleep?

Dear Journal, Wow!! What a day. Jumped right out the gate and hit the ground running. Went through the ritual of going to the Y, went to adult am class; worked with my mentee before assisting in class; stayed for BB and PMAA class tonight, which was very humbling. Again felt like a White belt. Apparently been only practing new ciriculum so i can build a memory forbut found out its best to practice the old belt cirriculum as well. OMG!! Gotta get on the grind.

Dear Journal, played catch up today on my physical and writen requirements. It was intense.I went to church. Dinner was on the stove and went to work for a few hours. Tomorrow starts the day where I have to start doubling up on my classes. Wish me luck

Dear Journal, Today was a day to take it easy, reflect on my accomplshments and to be still. Its so easy to loose sight and fall into a state of self-pity. Got to spend some quality time with the family. Cut my workout in half today so not to over do things. Need to pray for God to put on my heart what direction to go. I know ths weekend was a learning leasson, but I still don't know what lesson I'm to learn.

Dear Journal, Came to realize that if I slow down enough God's will will be done. I guess I'm not really supposed to go to Greenville, and no matter how much I want to go I cant let water flow from a rock. I'm really exhausted and keep pushing myself and now its catching up to me. THe light-headedness is coming back, which is one of the first symtom of Virtigo. My left shoulder is strained from excessive assisted pull-ups. Plan on taking it easy tomorrow, by being still and listen. But Im not quitting. Hope you guys are enjoying Instuctors' Camp. I'm there in spirit.

Dear Journal, Went to get a cupping session today. Really drained me. I have huge, puffy, purplish circles alll over. Went to the Y at 5;30am to get my requirements in. Ran 1.5 miles without walking!! Yessss!!! Helped out in class today and it was rewarding. I was, still am, very psyched about going to Instructors Camp, but dont have a ride up. I get off work at 3:30pm and almost everyone will be gone by then. I really have faith that everything will work out. Everything is in place with someone coming over to help Bobbi with the Twins. I'll get there. I'll hitch hike if I have to!!

Dear Journal, What a day..Started off early. Went to the Y to run, work on sone poomsaes and physical requirements. Seems like no matter how many times I do them it doesn't seem enough because everything goes out the window when push comes to shove. I need to pick up some KTape for Instructors Camp. My mind was willing but my body wouldnt cooperate. After doing collectively 8.5 hours of massage, I was done. Came home, took a shower; helped with the grandbabies. set my alarm for 11pm finished the rest of my physical requirements and came on the computer. Need to check emails. I have close to 5 thousand unopened emaills. Good Night!

Dear Journal, Im pooped. I had class earlier today, worked, then BB Class and PMAA Class. I realized that there is still so much I dont know. Had a heart to heart with my Mentor.I think we are on the same page now. Also met with my Mentee. Trying to help her prep for testing. This is the week I chose to be a whiite belt. Now I know why its a white belt. Looking forward to this weekend. Instructors Camp here I come.

Dear Journal, God and the power of prayer is Awesome! I went into work today and my Boss decided to reconsider me taking off this weekend. I think I may be going to Instructor Camp! I wont know definitely until tomorrow. Didn't have much of a productive day today. Playing catch up on sleep. Looking forward to go to the YMCA tomorrow. Decided to try and learn how to sign language for my new skill. It is quite interesting. It made me think how fortunate I am to have my sense of speak and hearing.

Oh Happy Day..Dear Journal, found out a few hours ago that my grandson, Cade, gets to come home tomorrow. Yeaaah!! And just in time. Amazing how God puts everything in place, first the car, then the crib and you know the rest. I know I cant give up. Had a staff meeting at my job today. Asked management if they could please adjust my schedule so i can attend Instructor's Camp for this upcoming weekend and got a negative. Not sure how I'm going to fulfill all my requirements to become a BB but I have faith that Giod will pull me through that journey as well. Phillipians 4:21. I guess I'ma have to thug it out! Lord Please be with me..

Shitaki Mushrooms!!!! I can't believe I fell asleep before entering my journal!!! SMH. Yesterday was another balancing act. I got up really early. Instead of going to the YMCA I ran/walk in my neighborhood and did my physical requirements at home. Dragged the entire family to the KIA Dealership in Gastonia. They held my hostage for 3.5 hours (the enitre time I sweating); missed BB Class and managed (by the Grace of God) to barely make Sparring Class. After that I worked 3-8pm. Does anyone know how to Clone a human being? :0) I need 4 of me: One to take over Mother/Nana Role; one for the Massage therapist, one for BibleTalk Leader/Servant; and One for the Tae Kwon Do Student. I know life is all about balance and with that will come inner peace. Am I there yet? Trying to work out a meeting schedule with my Mentor.

Dear Jpurnal, I had very little time to breathe today and what a waste because today was beautiful. I am overdue for a massage! we have 5 more weeks left. Wow where did the time go. Trying to stay on top of things. Going to need to double up on my clases and travel a little. I pray God makes it clear as to what direction He wants me to go regarding my car. Do I trade in and combine payments for whatever my new payment amount will be, or do I keep this car and continue paying and buy another used vehicle that will accommodate my whole family when going on road trips? Looked at a Dodge Caravan in Gastonia Kia today. But I have not idea what to do. Where is a husband when you need one... lol..They say be careful what you ask for.

Dear Journal. I had an amazing workout in class today, with Master Knight. Lots of kicking. Worked at the Chiropractor's Office today; had an outside client and attended to some family matters. Now i'm Running on empty. And, I get to do it all over again tomorrow. ;0) My Bible Talk Group is meeting tomorrow. We have not met in over 5 weeks. I think my topic will be on Godly Love, which is the same type we should have for one another. I had my cupping session Tuesday to pull out lactic acid, reduce pain and improve the range of motion in my body. I feel much much better. I'm wondering how I can still be sore after so many weeks. Are we done yet!!

Dear Journal, IDK who invented Burpees but they must be one twisted person. They are the least favorite of my physical challenges so i must learn to love them...burpees are my friend..Nnnn..negative. I HATE THEM!! For the most part today was a beautiful day. I cant wait for Spring so I can take my running outside. Another on the list of my least favorite thing to do but I am trying to embrace it. We went to the hospital early this morning to visit Cade. Dr's say he wont be home for another week. Still on feeding tube :0(.. I miss him and I dont even know him.

Dear Journal, Made it through another day of juggling balloons. Baby Chol had a doctor's appointment to check her jaundice level...not sure if okay because results were sent to her primary care physician. My grandson Kash was sick and had to pick him up from the Babysitters (his Mom was in school). Went Crib shopping for an economical crib (wow..with all the accommodations--mattress, railings, etc., its almost a mortgage payment).. Not sure if okay because results were sent to her primary care physician. Another Dr's visit schedule for Thursdays. Had my PMAA and BB Class tonight. Could barely keep my eyes open. Fulfilled my physical requirements. Now I have to learn to upload documents in dropbox. Lord help me. Til Tomorrow.

Dear Journal, Is it me or does it seem like the days are running into each other (e.g., my days and nights and weekdays and weekends)? I am really greatlful forthe ability to wake up and start over. Worked til 6pm; helped out in 6:45pm class; finally met with my Mentee and went over sparring combinations. Yeaaah.... It felt good. I really enjoy helping others. It helps me not focus so much on self.

Dear Journal. My grand-daughter, Chol, is home! And life as we know it is over.. lol. She's a little underweight and need to be fed every2-3 hours. She's perfect she doesnt cry so we find ourselves staying awake to make sure she's breathing. Coming up with a schedule is gonna be challenging. Beautiful day out. Ran and did 2/3rds of physical requirements; Went to church; stopped at the Minute Clinic to check my pressure (been feeling a little run down). Doc told me pressure is fine and that i need rest. LOL... What is that I said! Anyway.. Gonna try to nap before my two outside Massage Appointments. Really trying to get the hang of journaling during the day verses putting it off til night time, (im failing miserably at that.). Any advice from Past and Present Candidates?

Dear Journal, Today was a good day! :0) Was snowed in with my family! There was no thru traffic in and out of my neighborhood. Anyone who attempted it got stuck with the exception of a couple of SUV. (Please remind me that my next vechiicle should be and SUV, lol.) i lived in NYC so it was great to experience a little snow and to see how people pulled together in time of need. I finished reading my book on Overcoming--Faith & Victory. Yes, today was a very good day. Also played catch of on my physical requirements. We should have more days like this!!

Dear Journal, Been working through the night to get me room ready for Bobbi and Chol to come home from the hospital. I shampooed/shot spot the carpet; did 3 loads of laundry; washed and wiped down donated baby clothes, bottles and necessities. By the time I looked up it was 2am. I took a power nap and worked til it was time to shower and leave for my 8am massage appointment. I was very exciited and wanted everything to be in place when they got home. The predictiion of snow was not going to stop this Nana! :0). I got a call from Bobbi informing me that Chol regrest and will not be coming home with her today. I've learned not to question God and that He always work things out in the end. Trying to balance so many balloons can eventually wear on you. I know this soulds weird but...

Dear Journal, OMG! My first journal entry,,,;0). I had an eventful morning, Work today 10-6pm.. Let me see... My daughter, Bobbi, gave birth to twins last Thursday. Been up at the hospital every night since. Cade Reece 6lbs, 7ozs has underdeveloped lungs and is in the NICU, and Chol Reign (pronounced Cawl) weighed in at 4lbs. To-date Cade is on oygen and Chol has had an infection and now jaundice. What next you ask, My daughter had to have a blood transfusion, last night. I left hospital after 3hr nap at 3:30am (did my push ups and sits but no energy to run). Me, I am drawing strength from God and the energy for the people who love me most. I'm asking everyone to please pray for my family. I love you My King Tiger Family!!