Everything hurts. 01/19/25

So naturally I woke up feeling like a giant boulder not being able to move a inch this morning. I eventually rolled off my bed onto the floor and slowly got myself up. My arms were heavy and my stomach hurt. I wasn't that hungry today. That was mostly because I felt like if I ate even a grape I would explode. I forced myself to eat a little every half-hour or so because I didn't want to starve. Also I think I really need to stay focused this cycle, I'm not really proud of what I've done so far but maybe it's just because I'm drained. For some reason I'm blanking on this journal but normally I could write a whole book. I'm really concerned of that fact but I mean what really can I do? I really didn't take all this pre-test stuff all that good. And I am not in a very good mood at all. A bunch of stuff is stressing me out so maybe I just need to learn to relax. I just really hope that my attitude doesn't effect my training. But I don't know what will happen. This was a negative journal towards me but what can I say, I wrote it so therefor it's the truth.