Man Plans and God Laughs

Empathy Training 2013

Man Plans & God Laughs; that is what my mother has always said. Boy is she right.

I woke up this morning and pulled the three pieces of tape from my nightstand that I had placed there the night before. I used them to tape my left hand into a fist to start what I thought was a well planned day. I was three days out from a very good Empathy Class with Instructor Auerbach, the lessons fresh in mind. I had spent the day before mentally picturing how I was going to handle each situation. I realized I had to rise early to get a head start and to have my wife assist me with tying my running shoes before she left for work. I had thought about leaving them tied, but thought that wouldn’t be in the spirit of the lesson.

After taping my hand I started my normal routine to begin the day. I brushed my teeth and did my first set of sit-ups (50). I then did one hand pushups (10). I normally do sets of 50, but 10 was good with one arm.  I then went downstairs to fetch a cup of coffee heading back upstairs to shave and get dressed. All of that went well. I then hit the computer for catching up on emails. Typing was a little challenging but doable. I was slower of course, but got through all my email communications. From here, the day unfolded strangely different at times. 

I had packed my gym bag the night before as I usually do, so I simply grabbed it and went out to my truck to start it and prepare to go to the dojang. I went back into the house to grab my beverages, coffee and Spark. When I came back out, a small tree had fallen from our side yard and landed between our garage door and my truck. I was/am very thankful that it did not strike anything, thus not causing any damage. I figured I would just handle it when I got back from the dojang.

I proceeded to the dojang, went for a run and took class as planned. Master Evins was very helpful with techniques and striking angles when executing self-defense and poomsaes. He gave great insight reflecting on lessons with Instructor Auerbach. Instructor Cavazos was helpful as well. We started class with sit-ups which went well. The pushups and burpees in addition to sit-ups at the end of class were more of a challenge. I kept thinking of what Instructor Auerbach had said on Saturday about working harder to get through all of these things.

On the way home from the midday class on Tuesdays I usually stop at Aldi’s to grocery shop. I did the same today. It was enlightening for a couple of reasons. Whenever I go there I always leave my quarter in the cart chain (if you shop there you understand) for the next person, sort of a “pay it forward” concept. Today when I arrived there someone had done the same thing. That was a first. So I left it and garnered another cart. When I left I still practiced my usual custom.

While I was in the store I noticed several folks looking at my hand and then looking away when they saw me look up. I imagine this happens to a lot of folks with a handicap. I do not think I do this, but I will make extra sure I do not. The only person who actually asked me what happened was the cashier. She was genuinely interested when I explained our program to her.

When I returned home I went to move the tree with my one good hand. I quickly realized that it was a bit larger and heavier than I thought. I probably could have picked it up and moved it if I just used my other hand. But that would not have been in the spirit of the lesson. So, I grabbed a bow-saw and cut the bugger in thirds, holding the tree in place with my foot as I did. I had to put the saw down between the cuts in order to move the severed pieces.

I then went in the house to shower and have lunch. Showering and drying were again challenging and slower than normal, but doable. I then went down to the kitchen and heated up some soup I had made over the weekend.  Once again the task was slowly achievable.

The next event was the sad discovery by my wife & I that our one of our pets that has been very sick had passed. She was lying on her bed on the floor. She had been fine just before I went to take my shower. So, hopefully her passing was peaceful. My wife called the vet that we had been taking Tipper to and they offered a burial bag or box, whichever we wanted. Well, my wife went and got one of the bags. So, here I am sad, with one hand and a dead cat. My wife wanted no part of the next set of events.

I pulled a food prep glove onto my hand and handled the situation. I now had to dig a hole to bury the cat not wanting to wait until the next day. Again, I wanted to stay in the spirit of the lesson and dug the hole with one hand. Fortunately we have a good spade in good order. It is clean, sharp and light. The ground was pretty soft from all the rain. But the root network from the bushes in the backyard proved quite the challenge to dig through. Now, after this I decided to change the tape on my hand. I had hoped to keep the same tape throughout the day so as not to relieve my fingers from there encumbrance. The fact that I was heading to teach a culinary lecture class and be in the culinary wing of the school dictated that I had wash my hands thoroughly practicing good hygiene and sanitation.

The remainder of the day was quite boring and uneventful after all of that. Tape, bandages and band-aids on one’s hands and fingers is a normal thing in kitchens, especially student kitchens. So folks were expecting elaborate answers about cuts and injuries when they inquired about the bandages on my hand. They were quite interested and supportive of the cause when I explained it however.

I am very thankful for the more complete lessons I learned today. There were a few abnormal events today that would have been frustrating any other day. But, my empathy training allowed me to look at them differently. I was able to appreciate the opportunity to go through a day in life much more like what it would be like for anyone with this handicap. It would have been understandable if I had foregone the one-handed handicap for these, but the true lesson would have been lost. And, it gave me the opportunity to remember my mom’s quote.