Daily Journal #22: Being Hard on Myself

Once again, today went pretty ordinarily. Practice was interesting, to say the least, with plenty of hill and speed work. Class went pretty well too, but there were some things like certain kicks or forms that I feel like I could and therefore should be better. They were just minor things that I messed up on, and I try to convince myself that it's ok to be human and make mistakes sometimes, and usually it kind of works and I'm fine until I actually make any kind of mistake, where I end up finding myself focusing on the fact that I messed up and almost nothing else. The problem is that I expect perfection of myself, and when I don't attain that standard of perfection, I end up being quite brutal with myself, and I say/think things to myself that I would never even consider saying to another person because of how mean it is and how, for some odd reason that I don't know, I am ok with being so much harder on myself than I would ever even tolerate being that hard on someone else. The frustrating thing is that I know that this is something I need to work on, and I know it's unhealthy to be this much of a perfectionist, but I have always been that way, so I don't know how to fix it when others tell me to stop being so hard on myself for no reason. Hopefully tomorrow goes better as far as how I treat myself.