By Ritika Myana on Wednesday, 13 February 2019
Category: Candidate Journals

Journal 22/23

i just realized i did a journal 19 twice, so its actually my 23rd journal, not the 22nd. coincidentally, 23 is my lucky number, i like to think. i don't know why so many people like the number 23, but it's a good number. today was boring. normal. nothing really happened today. and people keep telling me i need to have more confidence, which i guess is true. i'm really sensitive about stuff, not in a crybaby way, but more like if someone says something even slightly contradicting, i majorly doubt it. like if i thought i looked really good one day and i ask someone and they say you look good and then they say do you really want me to be honest with you? it's good, not great- i made this all up by the way -i would start to majorly doubt my own feelings about my look and other people's perspective. and it's not just that. i have those same doubts with my athletic ability and academic ability and literally everything. i think i care too much about what people think, but i kind of don't know how to stop. any advice? for anyone who stalks journal posts reads them like i do, lol. and i get that sometimes they're trying to help me, but it still comes with a feeling of guilt when someone says something, even constructive criticism. i don't know what it is, but i am trying to not doubt myself. but it's hard when i feel like i'm doing everything wrong, even if i'm doing nothing wrong. woah. i just read this and this is a load of depressing. i guess in these journals you have to express your feelings, so i guess that's what i'm doing. some good things that happened today!- i got a brownie, i got a 100 on my vocab quiz, and i went home early today. early as in i'm not at school later than 3. so that's it. have a monday (reference to my other post some mondays ago) and have a good tomorrow!

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